faithehopelove

what disorder is this?

i'm always questioning my boyfriend to see if he cares even when he has told me he does. i always need reassurance. i'm always thinking he's looking at other girls. if he's not home or with me then i constantantly worry about where he is like if hes with someone else or not.

and example:

last night i had to work and he told me he was going to the pharmancy to get his meds and then to walmart. i got off of work and caled him and he said he was in walmart. i was like you been in there for 3 hours? and he was like yeah. said he had been looking around a lot and got a lot of stuff. i went on and on about how i didnt know anyone to stay in there that long and just not believing him. like he might've been somewhere else or something. then i told him i had to go and i was going to say i had to get out of the work parking lot but he said okay and hung up. so i got all upset. and i tried to call him back a few times but no answer. so i got really upset and was crying and getting hysterical and hitting myself and banging my hand on the wheel of the car and driving my car weird. i was so upset. i kept dialing the # over and over til he answered and turns out he was on the phone with his mom.

so i went to the walmart parking lot across from wehre i work and sat there and told him to find me when he came out. and i layed my seat back and was just so upset. that i just curled up in my seat til he came. i was also having a bad headache too. and being over emotional. and he came to my car after he came out and i was all upset. he told me to come over.

and he had went to my house earlier and left stuff in my room to suprise me. i just found it today but he told me last night but not what it was. it was early vday stuff. he aske dmy mom if he could put it all in my room and he set it up all on my bed and stuff to surpise me a lot of stuff. and i feel awful after i said he wasnt in the store that long and all and got so inseucre.

the other day we met at the park and i was all moody after work and cause i coulndt get my sont aht day cause i ahd to work the next day. and i was all moody with him and having a bad attitude and all and he got mad at me and all saying not to take it out on him and i went off later saying how he didnt care about me and all kind of stuff.

i'm always asking him if he wants to date others or if he wants to just be friends but he always says he wants to stay with me but he wants us to stop aruging all the time.

then the other day i got in his truck and the seat was back. i said why is this seat back and of course accused him of having someone in the truck. and i got out and got in my car and drove off. and we argued on the phnone about who it was and he said he didnt know how it got back. then i remembered the night before when i rode with hima nd we layed our seats back in the parking lot to rest b4 going in. i felt so stupid that i accused him when i forgot about that incident.

he wants me to go get meds and says his mom will take me but he wont discusss with me how i feel most of the time. he just wants me to see a doc to feel better. and i feel like he just wants me to go get meds so i can feel better so he dont have to worry about it. why won't he just talk to me then?

i self injure too sometimes like w/my nails or hitming myself when we getin argumenta and he walks off or hangs up or for other reasons.

what is wrong with me????