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Old 06-26-2007, 08:23 PM   #1
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SO I do believe that I have at least one personality disorder if not several.

It has come to my attention that I have many personality disorder. My emotions are so out of whack that my personality shifts in a matter of minutes. I have learned to control any impulsive behaviors and anger bouts because I realize when they are about to come. I still feel the pain though ever time it happens. I know that I do not have a mulitple personality disorder because I remeber every different emotional state that I am in. My emotions shift all the time due to socail interactions...any slight variation in a social interaction changes my emotional state. I have actually gotten very good at controlling others emotions...which I know is very unhealthy and quite manipulative. My friends have just learned to not worry about my behavior because they are used to me acking crazy.. They all love me though because I have this brilliant wit and sense of humor...not to mention that my random bouts of emotional diturbance is probably entertaining for them. I have grown tired of it though. I cannot hold any kind of stable realtionship with anyone who has not known me for a long time. I go through horrible bouts of depression where I can barely make it through work and I will just go home and lay in my bed when I get home. I have all types of identities that I use to get acceptance from people. Most people when they first meet me think I am just this over the top charasmatic-- and well rounded individual, but once they see this weird and depressive side to me they run away. It makes me so sad because I know that they just do not understand. They do not understand the huge hole in my soul, and that no amount of encouragement, praise and assurement will ever make me feel accepted.

 
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Old 06-26-2007, 08:45 PM   #2
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Re: SO I do beleive that I have at least one personality disorder if not several.

Why don't you go an get some therapy instead of guessing and labelling yourself. FWTW, I don't think it sounds a bit like a personality disorder at all. One of the main features of a personality disorder is that the person is virtually incapable of seeing that there is anything wrong, they pick up their cues from those around them and adjust accordingly without really knowing that there is a reason that they have to do this. You are emotionally unstable, and with your mood swings, it may be that bipolar is more your problem. The "hole in your soul" speaks more of depression than personality disorder - someone with a personality disorder would never be aware of such a thing. (At least the ones I have come across-that is most of the problem of trying to deal with them, they rarely recognise that there is a disorder present) But I still would not be labelling you without a decent examination by a professional.

 
Old 06-27-2007, 04:50 PM   #3
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Re: SO I do beleive that I have at least one personality disorder if not several.

Sounds like you want to be borderline... but at the same time I don't think you are because like the chic said below me... (someone with a disorder does not really understand that they have a problem)... And if you do have a disorder, I doubt your friends think that it's funny... (unless they are 12 years old) Personality disorders are a serious thing... Has anything tramatic happened to you - just be honest and let it flow it's not like you've got anything to be ashamed about because most of the people on here are just here to help ya know... I came here for help because I live with a borderline... There are a lot of really smart people on this board, lot's of caring people too...

 
Old 07-02-2007, 05:55 PM   #4
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Re: SO I do beleive that I have at least one personality disorder if not several.

Thanks for the replies and I think that maybe you guys are right. I probably do not have any disorder. I am fully capable of keeping jobs and have accomplished a lot in my life. I think it may be a deep depression though. I have always been depressed and have always been kind of outlandish. I think maybe I do the things I do because I want attention and it is more of a social mask because I feel like I dont really belong in the world...or something like that. I have always felt 'different'...always on the outside. I always assume that people do not like me. I had some trauma during childhood...but nothing to harsh. I think what I need to do is work on my character weaknesses, rather than label myself crazy.

 
Old 07-16-2007, 09:57 PM   #5
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Re: SO I do beleive that I have at least one personality disorder if not several.

Now you are beating yourself up for feeling like something is wrong. I would not let the pervious posters make you feel like you are making something out of nothing. It sounds like you can be very manic and then very depressed. I would see someone about it. Sometimes depressed people put so much energy into "acting happy" that they are then "drained" from it and just collapse....

 
Old 07-16-2007, 10:58 PM   #6
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Re: SO I do believe that I have at least one personality disorder if not several.

I think you need an emotion focused therapist. Somebody to help you get in touch with your OTHER feelings besides worry, panic, and anxiety.

I actually started crying more often (and having empathy for myself and the tedius situations I've suffered through) My anger and frustration and worry has decreased by about 60%.

Crying is actually helpful believe it or not and also about 98% of my psoriasis went away.

Last edited by strongernow; 07-16-2007 at 11:05 PM.

 
Old 07-17-2007, 03:53 AM   #7
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Re: SO I do beleive that I have at least one personality disorder if not several.

Quote:
Originally Posted by SwimmerGirl12 View Post
Now you are beating yourself up for feeling like something is wrong. I would not let the pervious posters make you feel like you are making something out of nothing. It sounds like you can be very manic and then very depressed. I would see someone about it. Sometimes depressed people put so much energy into "acting happy" that they are then "drained" from it and just collapse....
I certainly am not trying to make you feel that you are making something out of nothing. Conditions like bipolar disorder and depression or anything making you feel the way you do are definitely not "nothing". My only point was about self-diagnosis. I still feel that you do need professional advice rather than to label yourself.Sera

 
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