My son has these behaviors he is younger so it is hard to say personality disorder but and it is hard to help him. He thinks he needs to be the center of attention he needs anyone he comes in contact to recognize him or talk to him or he gets mad and ends up in a rage. He is very manipulative and usually gets everything he wants and annoys people on purpose to get a rise out of them. He needs to be the center of his mothers world but yet when angry at her he treats her terrible and ignores her and is disrespectful. He was diagnosed with Adhd and has services but no one puts demands on him because he just shuts down and is defiant. No one can deal with him and it is hard to help him. Everyone treats him like he is Gods gift to the world cause he acts like he needs attention all the time and ends up getting it. He has a special needs sibling that gets no attention from others and they pay only attention to him. He will get angry with family and be defiant and ignore them but when in fornt of someone else will snap right out of it and gives his family hugs and kisses in front of everyone like he wasnt mad at family then when not in presence of people he will act angry at family again.
there needs to be a long term plan to get him to stop being the centre of attention. This means that a collective effort from everyone who knows him to make an effort to stop giving him any kind of attention. In this way, he will slowly do things that will be more understanding of others. So if everyone around him are patient enough to stop him from being dominant, perhaps he can change.
If he can change, there is no disorder there.
Unfortunately it seems impossible to get everyone to do that and even if someone does it in the store act like he is the most amazing person they have seen and doesnt acknowledge his sister i think it is enough for him to get what he wants. It isnt just the attention he acts like a different kid if people are present and if they arent he is really mean to all of us and ignores his sister and she cries and tries to give him his favorite toy etc to cheer him up and he ignores her. It turns the whole families life upside down but no one can help and work on a plan to help him. He is extra nice acts like he loves everyone in front of an audience, neighbors, in the store but then inside the house it is complete opposite and nothing snaps him out of it unless we have a visitor in the home then he is ok and if they leave he is back to being mad.
Just wondering, what have the doctors said about him? I guess with his hyperactivity disorder, people around him can try to slow it down somehow. I was suddenly thinking that his reactions may be something to notice if he is kept isolated in a small area. So he may bore himself down or he could react violently until he gets tired. Either way he may get exhausted and from there his hyperactive behaviour is likely to slow down.
He isnt kept in a small area not sure what you mean by that? I am worried that he needs to be the center of everyones world and the way others react to him makes him act this way at least part of why he does this. Just today the neighbor went crazy over him in front of his sister and told him he is the cutest, i am happy they say nice things to him but it isnt JUST about HIM. I talk to the neighbors and he starts talking over me saying hi to them and then they switch it over to him and not talk to me, this is after he has already said hello to them.
Sorry, what i meant was to put him in a situation where he was all by himself or make feel as if he is by himself. Make him play with a few of his toys alone and then see how he reacts based on his time alone.
Well obviously he knows how to turn it on and off, where as if a disorder you normally can't control the situation yourself. How old is this child?
You mentioned this child has a special needs sister, well in some cases it is hard for a child, due to the special needs child receives more attention, medical appt's, care, etc....and they feel angered by this. Even though it is from a medical facility that the child is receiving attention, it is still attention none the less. But, I would suggest that maybe speaking w/ the family Dr and seeing if he could give some advice on how to help this child cope w/ what ever it is that is bothering him. It could be neurological or it might be he is afraid that someone won't like him, so he pushes himself on them.....
no he is special needs as well he has ADHD and receives therapy and the therapist coming to see my daughter spends more time with him then her so i dont think he can be jealous when he gets attention and gets as many appts as his sibling.
He has time by himself and he doesnt mind it but he still reacts and does the same things whether he has some time alone or not.
another thing i need to say is he has a therapist the same time as his sibling and goes after her therapist for attention even though someone is here for him. It isnt just about attention its about his switch in moods like he is mad with me then happy once someone comes in the room at doctors for instance or our house then mad again and stays mad after they leave. He is almost 5 years old. He holds grudges for long periods too and purposely ignores people goes in other room and gives them a dirty look before leaving the room. But if someone comes into the house he breaks it and hugs the person he is mad at and gives them extra love and the stranger or neighbor thinks he is such an angel though it is an act sometimes when he is mad. He also smothers whoever comes in the house until they ask him to do something hen he yells No and wont. When the person leaves goes back in their house he is back to acting angry.
A child of that age bracket having such anger problems and being able to turn on and off his charm when needed,hmmm that is a big concern..I understand where your coming from w/ needing advice...I would definitely be concerned especially if he is able to play adults as you have explained. Has the Dr said anything about the ADHD and maybe that playing a part of his behavior as he is doing?
The doctor he sees for ADHD he hasnt seen her in awhile it takes a long time to get back in for an appt. She thinks he needs to see a psychiatrist for the ADHD but he hasnt gotten in yet i am still waiting for the appt, the doctor called off sick when my son was scheduled.
He is now having problems where he just wakes up angry and ignoring other people and i get the most of it he walks in front of me and turns his head in other direction and holds it there until he gets to where he wants to go, purposely ignoring me. I dont know what i ever did to him. When he wants something he is my best friend.
ooh he's a manipulative little stinker huh?
wow.....he sounds like a mini-narcississt in the making....
a couple other personality disorders come to mind......sociopath, and borderline personality disorder.....
i didn't know someone so young could act like this......I'm sorry for you and I hope you reign him in real soon because he's going to be real trouble later.
He does sound like a sociopath. I would probably discipline him in a physical manner taking a strap to his rear end on a regular basis. At that age, with that behavior, spanking is appropriate. He'll probably need firm discipline his whole life. Sounds like a marine in the making.
Sorry to sound negative, but after reading this, I'm sure glad I don't have kids at home any more! I would be having a daily struggle of deciding if the spanking I'm going to give is OK or child abuse. One thing I would suggest is if you have company & he starts behaving overly loving, send him to his room. There's something about the way you accept his public affection that's reinforcing him doing it...and something at home that's allowing his disrespect. Good luck to you & I'm sorry I don't have any words of advice beyond I agree he may need the occasional good spanking. He needs to realize you are in charge, not him.