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Old 04-05-2010, 07:07 PM   #1
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Question Am i a sociopath

Recently i was accused of being a sociopath, i wasn't sure what exactly a "sociopath" really was so i looked it up..

it was overwhelming of how much of its symptoms applied to me.

most of them i didnt really notice until they were pointed out to me, from a small kid i can remember stealing things and abusing my sister and pets, even when the risk of physical punishment was involved i kept on stealing and hurting people. i never thought about it, of course i knew it was wrong, but couldnt really explain why i would do these things, but i would keep on doing them without remorse for my actions. ive always been able to persuade and manipulate people to get what i want, i still manipulate my own father, and half the time i dont even think that im doing such a thing.

ive always had a superficial charm, always changing my personality around different types of people to adjust to that crowd, but always to get what i wanted.

i have constantly screwed over many friends without realizing it, and again i know these things are wrong but i feel know guilt for any of it and it continues to happen. Its never direct, and i often dont notice it and sometimes dont care to notice it but i have hurt a lot of friends and a lot of girls in my life.

After i was laid off at my job the first thing that came to my mind was getting revenge on my boss. i had thoughts of burning his house, i had dreams of my old work burning with him inside. when i was kicked out of school with some other friends for having drugs, they all gave up and went on with my lives, i didnt want the situation to end so i threatened all kinds of indirect lawsuits to force them to let me back in.

i am a pathological liar, which is why ive screwed up so many relationships. even when it has nothing to do with anything, ill lie. i make up stories all the time for no reason other than to tell it.

i am not a very social person, i hate public places and being around people im not familiar with, it makes me uncomfortable and paranoid. i over think things and when it comes to socializing it just doesnt happen, i strongly dislike change around me and i have a lot of trouble adjusting to all of it. i get extremely frustrated over insignificant matters and i feel no empathy for things where anyone else would feel such empathy. even for the smallest things, i tend to lose interest easily and go about doing my own thing, whatever it may be.

ive always been able to rationalize the malicious behavior ive omitted over the years in a way that didnt make it wrong. i was always able to place the blame on others by over rationalizing situations even when the blame is clearly on me. whenever i got in trouble for such behavior i would lie, make up an alias, or instantly sell out a lesser friend as a scapegoat to get me out of trouble, or even to prolong the punishment.

i have never truly loved, not even my own parents. when the thought of death comes to mind, all i see is a change that will take some adjusting.

i have no direction nor any motivation to do anything in life, even at work. ive never had a good work ethic. i see no reason to do anything and no reason i should live, nor a reason why i should die.

i have a constant need for stimulation, its turned me in to a chain smoker, i always have to be doing something, i make verbal outbursts in class to get attention.

i am always taking advantage of my friends and family at any time, i feel some contempt for their distress but ive only ever used it to take advantage of them.

ive always had problems with juvenile delinquency and behavior problems, my parents sent me to therapy for anger management, i was able to fool the therapist and was labeled "cured" fairly quickly. its hard for me to keep promises and to make plans ahead of time, im very impulsive on the activities i do. and ive lived a very parasitic lifestyle, leeching off my parents for the last year, getting money however i coul, and convince my parents in any way that i could.

and lately i have been overly obsessed with experiencing what everyone has experienced from birth and throughout their lifetime, things i have yet to do but everyone else has, im overly obsessed with achieving my so-called god given rights, or at least fitting in, which lead to more lying.

but if i am a socipath, how do i help myself? i want to be normal, i want to feel love, i want to feel empathy and guilt, i want to feel joy and happiness. i want to fix myself in any way i can. but so far all that i have read is that "sociopaths are dangerous and inherently evil, get away from them and stay away from them" and that there is no treatment nor any way to help. i need to know if i am doomed to be this way for the rest of my life, and if im REALLY a sociopath... :/

 
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Old 04-05-2010, 07:32 PM   #2
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Re: Am i a sociopath

You certainly have most of the signs of a sociopath. Do you ever do something that won't benefit you, but will help someone else?

BTW I am not judging you , as lots of people can be sociopathic at times in thier lives, IMHO.

If you were a true sociopath in every meaning of the word, I don't think it would bother you ,as it seems to be doing, anyhow.

Last edited by Administrator; 04-06-2010 at 01:05 PM. Reason: removed quote

 
Old 04-05-2010, 07:44 PM   #3
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Re: Am i a sociopath

well not so much worrying me... its more jealousy.

Last edited by Administrator; 04-06-2010 at 01:07 PM.

 
Old 04-05-2010, 07:56 PM   #4
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Re: Am i a sociopath

The only way you are going to know is to go to a therapist that specializes in sociopath type personality disorders...but the deal is you have to tell the truth. If you feel you can never tell the truth no matter what then don't waste your money on therapy. I think if you truly want to change you can but you will need to go to someone that really knows what they are doing and I don't think this is something you can do on your own because you will need someone to confront/challenge you on your behavior. Good luck.

 
Old 04-05-2010, 08:01 PM   #5
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Re: Am i a sociopath

i know by saying i am a pathological liar i basically wave all trust any of you might have in me. but i assure you that all i said was true above.

when i first read about the common symptoms i had somewhat of a philosophical internal meltdown. i felt cheated out of what i thought i deserved.

i want help, and will seek it, i just need to know based on what ive told you am i a sociopath?

i need second opinions before i make a decision, my parents are in denial and my friends didnt understand and simply told me "no your not," ... to be fair most of my current friends ive only known a year or two and ive always had different personas of when im around them and when im with my family, probably the malicious thinkin, but i cant be certain

 
Old 04-06-2010, 10:22 PM   #6
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Re: Am i a sociopath

anyone at all?

 
Old 04-07-2010, 04:37 AM   #7
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Re: Am i a sociopath

Hello,

I have a good book suggestion for you to read...called "The Sociopath next door". It is available in any larger book store, and it breaks it down very well.

Our family has suffered greatly for 50 years with my sociopathic sister. For all but the last year, we never had a name for her horrible behavior, and when the word sociopath came up...the light bulb went on.

Your description sounds very close, the only difference is that she would never own up to any of it. The fact that you are gaining insight into yourself is so encouraging. You definitely need a good diagnosis from someone who specializes in such disorders, and guidance through the process.

I have a time limit right now, but I will come back with more later..Until then, I wish you the best.

 
Old 04-07-2010, 04:05 PM   #8
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Re: Am i a sociopath

Most people couldn't abuse kids and pets without feeling remorse except for a sociopath, so yeah.

 
Old 04-16-2010, 10:40 PM   #9
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Re: Am i a sociopath

My friend, your life is what you make of it. There are some people whose lives you could examine and you would swear that they are a sociopath because the way they think and their behavior all points to it, however some of them are not true sociopaths they are "acting sociopaths" for lack of better terms.
Most have underlying issues (that they wont admit to neither to themselves nor anyone else which makes therapy very difficult). Most have control issues. Most have self esteem issues (of which a normal person wouldnt be able to tell because the acting sociopath has a personality that shows completely opposite). Most of the time they dont realize that they have them. Starting from a young age their behavior was positively reinforced and continued to do so for the rest of their lives which maintains and justifies the behavior. Many of them have ways that they avoid their conscious and do so subconsciously (like continuously smoking pot). I could go on and on...my point is: do not label yourself and stick yourself in a box or that label may define you. You do need a therapist and you need that therapist to help you understand why you make the decisions that you make NOT to label you to give you an excuse to do what you do. You acknowledged that you have a problem which is a HUGE step to changing your life and eventually getting some substantial fullfilment out of it. The key is to use therapy effectively. You are going because you want to go, because you want to change your life so aid the therapist in doing so. It will be your first instinct to reject ideas or get very defensive and deny ideas that your therapist may pose that make you feel in anyway not in control of your life. DO NOT try and convince them otherwise or manipulate them. Listen intensly to what they say...if there is something that you disagree with then take that info home with you and analyze it over and over again and try and find the root of it. You need to self reflect.

I have a friend that Ive known for 10 years almost. I also dated him. Your post was as if he was talking however he is not in an emotional state as to where he would put that much of himself out there. It is how I would describe him. There is not one other person in his life that knows or realizes the depths of his problems as I do. He has known people way longer then I and all they see is a charming guy who is selfish and sometimes an ******* cause he screws people over. They have NO idea of the personality disorders (narcissistic) or anything deeper then a superficial look. It is a shame that he will not change because he could be a great person and have a great life...instead he will end life with no emotional attachment to anyone...essentially he will have gone through and screwed over or hurt everyone that crosses his path and he will die alone. It is my hope that he someday will be in the position that you are now and want to get help. (at this point he would still see help as ridiculious and only for the weak.) He has an obsession with power and control because he has loved and lost. He doesnt like emotional pain that there for lives a life so that he never has to deal with it (this he would never admit).
Well I could go on and on but this would turn into a therapy session LOL but I wish you the best of luck and I am proud that you own up to your actions.
It is easier to live the life that you live know and it constitutes a weaker person then a person who lives right and deals with the humility of being a human being. True power, respect, and control come from a place where people want to follow you...not from a place where you make them.

Good Luck!
-Terri

Last edited by dreambig1234; 04-16-2010 at 10:46 PM.

 
Old 04-17-2010, 03:10 PM   #10
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Re: Am i a sociopath

You might very well have a psychopathic personality, which is - for all practical purposes - the same as you think of a "sociopath." The official diagnosis that normally corresponds with this is "antisocial personality disorder," however the two are not exactly the same. The diagnosis of the disorder focuses mostly on behavior, while you describe specific personality traits that are just who you are. Unfortunately, there is not much in the way of treatment that can be effective. Since you are "concerned" about this, you should seek out some type of therapy, but medications will be of no help to you whatsoever. I do believe that it will be very hard for you to engage in a truly trusting psychotherapeutic relationship with someone, which will hinder any progress you might make. You will likely be unable to control your manipulation tendencies with a therapist. You probably would do best to focus on behavioral modification therapy, which will help you avoid those behaviors that cause you trouble, such as getting kicked out of school, or getting arrested (which is probably not far off).

Generally, people's personalities are pretty much set by the time they reach adolescence. If you have never felt love or concern for others or remorse, you are unlikely to ever feel it. I hate to be the one to tell you this, but that's the way it is. Now, I am only saying this based on what you wrote - I have never met you. So, don't take what I'm saying as the absolute truth. You should try to find a psychologist (rather than just a "therapist") who can give you a proper diagnosis and try to find some way of finding your way in life. Good luck.

If you don't mind, I'm also very curious as to what you mean by your "so called god given rights?" Can you explain further?

 
Old 04-20-2010, 02:16 PM   #11
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Re: Am i a sociopath

What Toones1 said--it sounds like antisocial personality disorder. If you want to truly help yourself then you should probably try to involve a parent or someone who knows you, in your therapy--that way you have someone helping you take responsibility for your actions.

 
Old 06-19-2010, 09:47 PM   #12
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Thumbs up Invole A Couple of Family Members

Quote:
Originally Posted by sickofpain2 View Post
What Toones1 said--it sounds like antisocial personality disorder. If you want to truly help yourself then you should probably try to involve a parent or someone who knows you, in your therapy--that way you have someone helping you take responsibility for your actions.
IMO this sounds like an excellent suggestion. And having more than one family member involved would hopefully give you twice as much feedback and insight. They might each perceive you a bit differently and the three and/or the therapist could maybe decide who's right.

 
Old 03-23-2011, 10:23 PM   #13
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Re: Am i a sociopath

You do sound like a sociopath. I'm not sure if there is anything that can help or not, after all, as you said, you fooled the therapist into thinking that you were "cured" rather quickly. See, this is why treatment typically doesn't work for people who are sociopaths, in fact, it often makes them more dangerous because they tend to learn how to appear "normal" without actually being "normal".

I'm almost finished with my B. S. in psychology, and I have an interest in forensic psychology, particularly sociopathy and antisocial personality disorder. Although the research isn't completely decisive, I personally, do not believe that sociopaths are the result of bad situations or trauma, I believe that situations like that could exacerbate the problem or that trauma could lead a person to problematic choices or behavior, but I don't believe that sociopaths are a source of the environment. I believe that you're either born a sociopath or you aren't. Granted, I am not a licenced psychologist or anything, so this is solely based on the research I have done on the subject.

I also do not think that treatment would help a sociopath at all, because what typically motivates change in an individual, with regards to problematic behaviors, is remorse, guilt, shame, etc. A sociopath doesn't feel those things, and I just don't believe that a person who does not have a conscience is going to get one after spending time with a mental health professional.

I do reccommend that you see a professional, to get officially evaluated by someone who specializes in the field, and see what options are available, however.

 
Old 03-23-2011, 10:29 PM   #14
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Re: Invole A Couple of Family Members

Quote:
Originally Posted by Eagle View Post
IMO this sounds like an excellent suggestion. And having more than one family member involved would hopefully give you twice as much feedback and insight. They might each perceive you a bit differently and the three and/or the therapist could maybe decide who's right.
The more optimistic side of me thinks that I should agree; however, for someone who truly is a sociopath, taking responsibility is a rather impossible feat. I mean, specialists specifically tell people who think they might be dealing with a sociopath not to confront them about it because of the risk of retaliation. Sociopaths sometimes pretend to take responsibility for their actions, but it's often a ploy to manipulate others so that they can get what they want.

I mean, the sociopath doesn't care about what anyone else thinks. They feel nothing for their family members, so why would they take into consideration what their family members have to say.

 
Old 03-23-2011, 10:36 PM   #15
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Re: Am i a sociopath

Quote:
Originally Posted by digmusic View Post
Most people couldn't abuse kids and pets without feeling remorse except for a sociopath, so yeah.
Actually, that's a common misconception, considering the fact that there are many states where a person can be in a psychotic (not psychopathic) state or under the control of someone else (such as the Manson Murders) or a number of other circumstances that could cause a person to do horribly cruel things without remorse (initially), and then when whatever is the real issue is dealt with, the sociopathic behaviors are no longer displayed.

You can't assume someone's a sociopath just on the basis that they have abused people or animals, that is just one possible warning sign.

 
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