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Old 10-15-2010, 03:01 PM   #1
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Sunka HB User
How Can I Stop Cycling Thoughts??

I am feeling very stressed out and am having cycling thoughts and a racing mind about a situation that developed this morning. I need some coping strategies!! What happened is...I overheard a manager from the motel next door discussing cutting down trees that are on my apartment's property. I told them they could not cut down the trees because the trees are not on their property. The manager was rude and told the person he was with to not listen to me. I went inside and called my landlord and was told they could not cut the trees without written permission. So I wrote down the landlord's name, address & number, and brought it to the motel manager to tell him to contact my landlord first. The manager literally threw the paper at me and came towards me in a mencaing manner, telling me to leave immediately. I left the paper where it fell and left. I was shaking. I called the landlord back to report what happened. Next thing I know, I get a call from the landlord, telling me the motel manager said I was throwing things around his office. The landlord was speaking to me as if she believed the motel manager, and she told me to stay away from the motel...which I intend to do!! But now I'm paranoid of the motel manager and who he will call next, saying I was throwing things around his office. I was alone when I went over there, how can I prove I wasn't doing anything?? What if he gets a hair and decides to call the police on me?? How can I prove I'm innocent?? I called my case manager to tell her how upset I am over this situation, and all she could or would do is tell me to distract myself so I don't get so paranoid. She told me I cannot prevent people from telling lies about me, and I know that to be true and that's what's making my mind race...what is that guy gonna do next?? How can I protect myself?? I just can't stop thinking about lurking danger. My boyfriend is at work, so I can't talk to him right now. I went to a neighbor's to talk but that wasn't very productive. TV is not distracting enough; I can't concentrate enough to read; I'm afraid to leave the apartment and go for a walk. I can't turn my mind OFF!!! Anybody have some ideas of how to numb my thinking??? Thanks for listening!!!

 
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Old 10-18-2010, 10:50 AM   #2
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Re: How Can I Stop Cycling Thoughts??

Well it's been a few days and I STILL cannot stop thinking about all this!! I tried to get an early appt with my pdoc and he's booked up till next month, when my regular appt is. I tried talking about this with my boyfriend, who was somewhat helpful, he said the motel manager was out of line & if he tries to bother me further, he (my boyfriend) will tell him off. But I continue to worry about my apartment manager, she spoke as if she believed the motel guy and I don't want issues with my lease. All my anxiety is messing with my service dog, he's very sensitive to my moods, and he's been anxious too. I try to tell him it's OK but I'm not very convincing because it doesn't FEEL like it's going to be OK.

 
Old 10-22-2010, 04:12 PM   #3
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Re: How Can I Stop Cycling Thoughts??

I am still concerned about my apartment manager. She was supposed to have completed some paperwork for my Housing, and she hasn't done it yet. Housing tells me they have till the 27th to get the paperwork & it will be OK, but now I'm worried that she believed the motel manager and is going to not turn in the paperwork to get rid of me. Is this paranoia???

Last edited by Sunka; 10-22-2010 at 04:12 PM.

 
Old 11-17-2010, 02:26 PM   #4
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Re: How Can I Stop Cycling Thoughts??

Here is a PS, if anyone is reading this. The apartment manager did get the paperwork turned in. It was a day or two late, but the office accepted it. I think I'm in the middle of some kind of episode because although this situation has been settled, I'm feeling paranoia about a couple other issues. My mind keeps going back to the issues no matter what I try to distract myself with. Like right now...writing here is not distracting enough. I guess I will just have to live through it, right??

 
Old 11-18-2010, 05:20 PM   #5
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Hey Sunka

Hey Sunka, I hope you're feeling better now.

Anyways, its good that your land-lord dealt with that situation properly and got your paperwork figured out. It would be unprofessional if your landlord failed to do his/her job in order to get rid of you. Even in the event that it did happen that way - simply remind yourself to be, 'mindful,' seperate yourself from the situation, by using, "DISTRACTIONS," but also by following through with some pre-set coping mechanisms.

One thing that helps me - walk away from a situation like that - breathe, recognize the objective FACTS about the situation. Go over it only once, and allow yourself to recognize the FACT - that you've done all you can do, and anything more is simply unecessary for you to attempt to change.

"God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference."

That phraze always comes in handy when times of stress alter our thoughts and cognition. And - just so you know; from what you told me - I would also have got anxious and, 'paranoid,' about such a situation as you were subjected to. However - the important thing is to remember - that you're environment (Situations / circumstances) do not have to control your behavior and actions in responding to them.

Also, those paranoid thoughts are not paranoid thoughts. Don't associate anxiety that is derived from genuine situations / circumstances, with paranoid ideation. The truth is, whatever it was that caused you to feel the way you did - was brought on by a combination of what happened to you. Please don't invalidate your human right to be a thinker, feeler and needer.

From what you've said - your therapist or, 'case worker,' has suggested several things that are quite insightful. First off - you did nothing wrong; accept that, allow it to give you confidence and get rid of any guilty feelings. As for the anxiety - that is understandable; and it is to be expected. Do not ignore it, but make sure you don't let those thoughts take over and give you reasons to act in certain ways that would otherwise be out of character, and or - irrational.

In my opinion, you've done all that you can do with the other people. The real test will be - like you said in your final post - "Learning how to live with it." And that my friend, is exactly what becoming healthy with a mental illness is all about.

"Learning to live with and accept certain ailments that would otherwise be misunderstood, neglected, and or - used against you."

If you haven't looked already, look up, 'grounding techniques,' on the internet. I use them a few times a week, and when stress comes all at once I do those grounding techniques more often.

One thing you can remember - and hold onto this. (Although it's very hard to do when stress and anxiety seems to control us) Remember that other people may be having a bad day - and sometimes you aren't important enough for them to go THAT far out of their way; to get rid of you, or abolish you in some way. EVERYONE - and I mean, "EVERYONE," is susceptible to the exact same kind of, 'paranoid,' thoughts as you went through. All that is required is the right amount of stress, the right kind of stress, etc.

Thanks,
8800gts

Last edited by 8800GTS; 11-18-2010 at 05:33 PM.

 
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