Re: This frustrating situation is turning desperate.
I can relate. My relationships have been horrible for years, and my friends all say that relationships are just hard. But it's only the people who date me who really know how bad it is. And sometimes even my partners don't realize what's happening. People say I'm not sick, but I surround myself with sick people, so how would they know?
I tried to rekindle an old relationship (from 10 years ago), and he told me I'm crazy and he can't deal with crazy. We used to always fight. I always started it. I love him, but I can't be with him until I get better. I don't want to ruin it again.
I know I'm sick, and it's frustrating because when people say I'm not sick I feel like they're blaming me for my failed relationships. But it's not my fault. I have recently realized I probably have BPD, and I'm going back to my therapist. Unfortunately, it takes about a month to get an appointment.
So I don't know how to make you feel better, but I can let you know that I share your misery. The good news is, we can get better. We want to get better, and we know we need help. Those are all good things.