I'm sorry I can't help you, but I suffer from this as well. I think the answer lies in cognitive behavioral therapy but if it's not funded then it's pretty expensive
I don't know if you have mood swings or not, but the only thing that helped with my intense and random moods of anger, was when my old psychologist told me that I'm not really angry, I'm not crazy, (I thought I was losing my mind) just scared. That calmed me down quite a bit.. but all the other stuff is still there, pushing people away, etc. My mother was abusive too. Have you looked into seeing a psychologist?