| | Re: lack of empathy
Hey Flutterbye- There is absolutely nothing wrong with you, or where you're coming from!
When my best friend drowned to death 5 years back, I remember everyone was so overcome with emotion instantly, yet me and my other friend who were the closest to him couldn't even cry for 3 days, and even than sometimes it felt like you had to because everyone else was. This created mass amounts of shame and guilt in my life, until one night I just simply broke down and cried like a baby in my brother's arms like I've never cried before. I've realized everybody deals with pain, tradgedy etc... in very different ways, some of us repress our emotions and than it comes out in extreme fashion( I fall into this category) others go into extreme denial if the reality of the situation to the point where they actually tell themselves whatever they need to in order to not acknowledge the pain- science now knows this can occur on such a complex level that trauma patient's brains can actually produce mass amounts of amnesia which essentially wipes out the memories of the whole ordeal or creates blurs so as to only recall aspects of the events.. None of this makes anybody good nor bad, it's simply human nature. Truth is we are always being overwhelmed with sadness and tragedy at every angle, the media has a way of projecting this very powerfully, and sometimes it's ok to not read into these matters to deeply, it doesn't mean you don't care or lack empathy, I really believe it's because somewhere in the back of your mind you know it's only a matter of time before you hear of the next great tragedy, and somewhere on a subconscious level you realize if you let these events overwhelm you with sadness it may render you ineffective to be strong for your children, may lead to depression etc... It's a survival tactic.
This doesn't mean we bury our heads in the sand, and live in denial of what's out there, rather it means we look for every opportunity to be consciously aware of what's happening but remain strong to carry on, accept them as tragic.. but like you said realize life is meant to be lived in forward momentum... It's not selfish, It's all we can do at the end of the day.