Advice needed: Schizotypal relationship issues
Im hoping someone can shed some light on the things Im going through at the moment as this is really affecting my life and relationships. I used to have no problem with relationships, and enjoyed the closeness to someone although didnt usually feel what most feel when their kissing someone or having sex. I would feel somewhat detached but still enjoyed the experience. Ive never had a problem watching erotica and can sometimes be aroused by it if my moods are in the right place.However I hav noticed when talking to friends about sex that I get very uncomfortable answering personal questions and talking about body parts. Even now just typing I cant seem to bring myslf to be more in depth. The past year however whenever someone tries to touh me or kiss me I feel repulsed and like I want to just run away.I still have an interest in people and sexual things but when it gets to the moment I start off by feeling disinterested and have no emotional or physical response but then I feel panic and even nausea sometimes. I look at people and find them attractive but as soon as theres a chance it might lead to more its as if automatically I find every single flaw on them and it makes me feel sick. I have emotionally unstable,paranoid and schizotypal pd and find that altough I do crave closeness with someone as soon as its happening and this is in terms of emotional closeness too I feel like Im drowning and need to be alone but then I get lonely. Do other people go through this and seem to find people attractive but as soon as the idea of anything physical or emotional might happen suddenly finds them disgusting? I really dont know if this is asexuality or some weird kind of phobia thats got worse as times gone on and as usual my mental health team arent much help. Any thoughts would be appreciated.