I truly want you to know that we are there to help you and everybody! I honestly LOVE having people like yourself come in because I can envision what you will look like when all your work is done! I cannot wait to get in there and clean a persons teeth that desperately need it! Sounds weird, but it is great to get all of that off a persons teeth so they can see just how nice it looks (and feels) to have a clean mouth.
Please remember, that many times, people tend to disassociate their mouths from their bodies. Oral infections affect the entire body and all of the latest research is linking periodontal disease to heart conditions as well as premature births etc.
Now, as far as it looking 'ugly' like I said, I think about how great you'll look when done. I don't see it any differently.
I always tell those patients that come in wringing their hands, maybe tearing up, clearly scared to death that THEY are in control! I tell them what I am going to do before I do it. I describe what it is, tell them what it will feel like, will it be uncomfortable or not. Basically no surprises. I ask repeatedly if they are doing ok and do they want me to stop? Over and over. And many, I'd say a vast majority, tell me to keep going. And they are honestly happy that they were able to get through it alive!
Tell your doc or hygienist that you are very nervous. Its OK because most people are!
I think I've said this here before, but I was one of those kids that cried when I had to go to the dentist. I would worry for weeks when that recall card came in the mail knowing my time was coming! I'd cry when I got the shot, I cried when I had to have teeth pulled for braces. I had a filling every tme I went I swear.
Now, look at what I chose to do! I've been there and I know how scary it is for people.
The only way to get over your fear is to just go do it! Just do it, make that appointment, show up and do it!