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Old 01-08-2005, 05:18 PM   #1
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volcomrxy21 HB User
social phobia

I think I have social phobia.
I'm in my first relationship... we're going on 5 months now... and everytime he mentions getting together with his group of friends I feel sick to my stomach. I don't know what it is. I've always been the 'shy' girl who no one really knew, even though I had my own little group of close friends who have all since moved away to college.
This is something I thought I'd grow out of, but it seems as if it's getting worse. I'm finding myself making excuses to avoid hanging out with him and his friends....
There have been times where I force myself to join, and I usually have constant thoughts running through my head like "they aren't having a good time because i'm lame and dont want to drink" and "i'm no fun" and "they'd be having a better time if I weren't here"...
Even though when it's just my boyfriend and I spending time together, I am fine.
I was seeing a therapist a few years ago, but have stopped because he stopped his practice. I was also on medication (zoloft for a year, wellbutrin for a year) but neither did much to help.
I'm feeling lost and helpless...

 
Old 01-08-2005, 07:01 PM   #2
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opiateskill000 HB User
Re: social phobia

It sounds like you do have some symptoms of social phobia, especially your avoidant tendencies and the racing thoughts in social situations. I have it too. However, are you sure these feelings aren't due to something specific about your boyfriend's friends? Do you feel pressured to drink when you're with them (are they a drinking crowd)? Would you feel this uncomfortable going to a party with random strangers? If you are suffering from social phobia, I think desensitization is the only real approach to solving the problem. Getting back into therapy would be a good idea. Your therapist should have connected you with another therapist before he stopped his practice. Your therapist can help you visualize an uncomfortable situation and become relaxed while imagining it, and eventually you'd do some "in vivo" (real life) practice with coping with the social phobia. Avoidance will increase the anxiety and fear that you're experiencing, and make you feel more powerless over the problem, so I'd talk to someone ASAP.

 
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Old 01-09-2005, 12:50 PM   #3
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hry33 HB Userhry33 HB User
Re: social phobia

sometimes these antidepressants simply dont work for a person , docs dont want to admit it but its a fact

I would try another antidepressant od a different type, often the dose needs upping later to get it working, some are accidently left permanently on the low starting dose, which cant help you

 
Old 01-09-2005, 08:38 PM   #4
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volcomrxy21 HB User
Re: social phobia

thank you for the replies,
opiateskill... I do feel this way around people in general.
i only feel fully comfortable and myself around my immediate family...
any one else, and I have these thoughts constantly running through my head how what I say is lame, or how people are looking at me and saying bad things about me.
But why it's gotten so bad in the past couple weeks, I'm not sure.
I began taking Amoryn again (I was taking it for a couple months about 6 months ago and it seemed to be helping a little... even though it could be imagined and similar to a placebo effect) So I will see if it helps aleviate the anxiety at all, even if it is all in my head.

I think you are SO right about the desensitization.... I've always been shy, but once I warm up to people, I can be myself. It's just groups of people I don't know, or large crowds that I begin to feel very uncomfortable in. I work 2 jobs and am a full time college student, so I'm constantly dealing with the public... which I'm fine with. It's when it comes time to "hanging out" when I feel as if I need to be some funny energetic outgoing person, which I'm not.

hry33, the reason I stopped taking zoloft is because it made me zombie-like, and the reason I had to quit taking wellbutrin 3 years ago is because I began hallucinating and finally had a grand mal seizure from it...
I swore never to take meds again, but again, am trying out the Amoryn since it is natural.

When I was taking the wellbutrin, I was the outgoing fun person that I always wanted to be... I have a 2 months supply of it sitting in my cabinet, and I'm tempted to begin taking it again but I am scared of having another seizure.

I just want to be able to be happy when it comes to going out with people and doing things, rather than feeling like I'm going to throw up and immediately begin thinking of how to get out of it.

 
Old 01-17-2005, 04:09 PM   #5
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dd annie HB User
Re: social phobia

Wow, it does seem like a lot of people suffer from social phobia. I always considered it shyness. I was shy throughout my teen life and still suffer badly from it. I get sick to my stomach and headaches when I have to go out to meet people or talk to people. I hate even going to the video store alone because I am afraid I must talk to people. My heart races and I feel all sweaty and clammy. Some people have asked if I was ok because I have turned very red or even pale sometimes. In highschool people would joke and say I was mute, and in my yearbook, my picture is under the "most quietest" in the class. I hate this and have always been told it will pass and I will grow out of it. It doesn't pass. I am in the process of defeating this and I want to do it without medication.

 
Old 06-06-2005, 09:15 AM   #6
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LOtRsfan HB User
Re: social phobia

Quote:
Originally Posted by hbannie
Wow, it does seem like a lot of people suffer from social phobia. I always considered it shyness. I was shy throughout my teen life and still suffer badly from it. I get sick to my stomach and headaches when I have to go out to meet people or talk to people. I hate even going to the video store alone because I am afraid I must talk to people. My heart races and I feel all sweaty and clammy. Some people have asked if I was ok because I have turned very red or even pale sometimes. In highschool people would joke and say I was mute, and in my yearbook, my picture is under the "most quietest" in the class. I hate this and have always been told it will pass and I will grow out of it. It doesn't pass. I am in the process of defeating this and I want to do it without medication.
yea, people joke about it too, and i get bullied cos of my shyness, i get nervous round outgoing people, like when i went to college they are all outgoing, and i felt abit uncomfortable round them, and when i would just listen to what they are saying they would say do you talk, and all that, and once when i went to this Initial Training place, and i was leaving coz i had come to the end of the time i was suppose to leave, and they got me a leaving card, and all the people signed it, and one signed it, showed it to me, and she had put "Goodbye Chatterbox" it was supposed to be a joke, and then when i was at the second or third day at college, we were suppose to do something, and we had to start with the quietiest, and they all pointed to me...

 
Old 06-12-2005, 02:16 PM   #7
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Kitty-MayRN HB User
Re: social phobia

I have social anxiety and agoraphobia. I don't like being in a small group of acquaintances (besides family) and I don't like crowds of the day to day society (walking the street, shopping, standing in line...). My boyfriend doesn't understand this and he gets frustrated. Of course he's the type that likes to just get out of the house. I want to spend time with him, but it's very hard for us to agree on what to do...
I've been shy all my life, and I'm still shy in personality. But this is panic and anxiety now. The world out there expects everyone to be outgoing and talkative--well some people just aren't that way. It's very exhausting for me to just get through the day with going to work or doing any errands that involves going out.

Kitty-MayRN

 
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