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Old 03-10-2006, 07:23 AM   #1
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Agoraphobia/Social Phobia and Masterbation

Looking for any advice. Please.

I suffer from agoraphobia and social phobia. Because of this I have also developed a problem with chronic masterbation. Regulary, I choose not to go out anywhere and just stay home and masterbate. I don't know if it's the phobias or the masterbation that is the problem.

That's bad enough, I know. I haven't left my apartment for the last 7 days, including missing this entire week of work. I just couldn't bear to leave. Due to that, all I did was drink and masterbate. For an entire week. I can't even explain the range of emotions and thoughts that have gone through my head. I wanted and tried to break out of it. I totally felt helpless. I couldn't do it. I could leave the apartment, except for a couple of late night visits to the corner store. And that was only for more alcohol.

Has anyone ever dealth with this, either themself or through someone you know? Does anyone have ideas how to combat this? The regular behavior has been going on for over 10 years. I gave suffered from agoraphobia/social phobia for as long as I could remember. There have been a few times in the last 5 years that I have had week-long bouts. Too many weekend bouts to count. I am 31 years old.

I want to beat this, but not sure how. I experienced feelings of being totally helpless and not in control for the first time, and that has really scared me.

Any thoughts or ideas would be greatly appreciated. Thanks for reading.

 
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Old 03-10-2006, 01:02 PM   #2
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Re: Agoraphobia/Social Phobia and Masterbation

Bonzito-
I too suffered from agoraphobia, it is one of those things where you become a total prisoner to your mind. I didn't have the masturbation with it, but did have the social phobia as well. I was afraid of people, and afraid to go out. Mine progessively got worse. I got to the point where I stopped taking meds for depression simply because I was too afraid to call to get them, and way too afraid to actually leave the house to get them (and that was WITH my husband). I made him do all of the running around, I wouldn't leave the house.
I started working my way up to things, like I would go to the store with him, forget me going by myself, no way, I couldn't drive at that time, if I was going to drive I simply would not go, I would find a way out of it. I couldn't visit my family (who only lived 5 minutes away) unless my husband drove us there and stayed with me the whole time. I was extremely clingy and dependant on my husband. It was the only was I could survive at the time.

When I realized how big of a problem it had become, I began working on small things. Like, walking to the mail box outside all by myself. I had panic attacks doing it. But, I had a sense of pride afterwards (as soon as I had come inside quickly and locked the door then peaked outside to make sure no one had followed me, lol). Actually leaving the house to go on trips in my car was a bit more difficult for me. I always came up with excuses as to why it was simply impossible...my windshield wipers don't wok and it *could* rain, one of my tires looks a tad flat, I don't really think I have enough gas,...whatever, I always came up with some sort of excuse as to why I couldn't go, and convinced myself that my excuse was a legitimate one (even if my car was totally fine, I would convince myself that something was wrong with it).

I finally started going to counselling which brought on MAJOR anxiety and panic, my husband of course ad to drive me there for a while. The counselot I had was not into meds, instead we talked about the fears. The first session was the hardest because I was shaking so badly, teeth chattering and everything, it was physically uncomfortable for me to be there. The first few sessions were like that. But eventually, I was able to drive myself there.

It really was a slow process for me, I had to work up to things. It was a huge ordeal just to go to the gas station. I had to play out every possible scenario in my head, map it out figure out exactly which way I would go, and would also have alternative routes mapped out in my mind in case the first ones didn't work out. I would run through all the reasons I should go vs. not go in my head. I made sure I had methods of dealing with my worse fears, like, "okay, if I get lost, I will pull over lock my doors, and call my husband on my cell phone, he can come get me, or just tell me where to go".

With practice, it became easier and easier. I am now back in school full time (I drive all by myself ) And things are going well. I still don't like going out to the store and still find myself conning my husband into going, but now I know that I CAN go if I really want something and he won't go. But it is still there a little bit for me, I just try to keep in under control so it doesn't take off on me like it once did in my life. When I feel like I am starting to make more and more excuses about not going places, and not doing things, I jump out of my comfort zone just to keep the agoraphobia thing from rearing its ugly head.

 
Old 03-12-2006, 08:13 AM   #3
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Re: Agoraphobia/Social Phobia and Masterbation

I know how you feel. I find that I tend to have the urge to masterbate when I am anxious. I suppose there is no limit to how many times a day you are allowed to do it, but if it impairs on your life then you need to get help. The only advice I can give you is find something else to do such as crossword puzzles, Painting, crafts, anything to get your mind off things and to keep your hands busy. Another thing is to not look at porn or anything of a sexual nature.

 
Old 03-12-2006, 06:05 PM   #4
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Re: Agoraphobia/Social Phobia and Masterbation

bonzito:

I masturbated until I was 35. Boy, was I over-sexed. But I did it to punish myself for being the way I was. Personally I regard it as self-abuse, even when I was stuck doing it because, like I said, it only gave me more reason to hurt myself.

In short, I have been terrorized since birth by older sis into having no self-worth, no future, no present. Major depr., heavy social anxiety, agoraphobia, afraid of people, and so on! Now I have great trouble even getting myself out the apartment door. When I do, I suffer the thousand eyes from my social phobia.

Through it all only my Faith kept me from not making 46 years old. I finally turned to my Faith at 35 because the temptation to harm myself by masturbating was bigger than I was. I pleaded with the Intercessor, the Holy Ghost whom we do not insult, to please keep the temptation from me. Then it crossed my mind that God likes people to do things more for themselves, so I pleaded that as long as I did not even try to do it, that the Holy Spirit would keep the temptation off me.
It worked. But I must not even think of doing it. Thank God!

Last edited by xpax; 03-12-2006 at 06:21 PM. Reason: to Thank God!

 
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