Hi, I am looking for help, I am 18 years old and I masturbate often, probably like every other day, except I have this terrible phobia of semen, and even if it is not pracitcal, I ALWAYS have to shower afterwards. Is there anyone out there, that could offer some advice or ways to deal with this issue. Thanks, Peter
Practical advice would be to make sure that you only do maturbate when you can shower afterwards.
Sensible longer term advice would be to start thinking about what could be the possible consequences of NOT showering after masturbation? How would this affect you, in both your mind and in actual terms? What could be the absolute worst thing that could happen? Have a think about it, maybe write a list and score each item on the list in order of scaryness. Then write beside each item how likely that the event could occur. Then start to absorb the fact that it can never actually be as scary or worrying as you think it might be.
Don't get me wrong, it is good to be clean but if it is moving towards the obsessive it can take over your life in other ways, and by recognising this now you can do something about it before it get to control your life.
Maybe try one day to not shower after masturbation, then get dressed and go out for a walk. Maybe do this when the house is empty, and go somewhere out by yourself. Then go back home, and consider how it actually felt to go out "dirty". If you can face up to the reality that on occasions it really does not matter if you are caked in semen and no one saw, realised or knew, let alone cared then you can start to not worry about it.
Dear Polloloco: I would venture that it isn't the semen to which you are phobic but, rather, the idea of masturbation that has done you in. You see, my sense of this is that while semen is the visible result of masturbation, that could easily be washed away with simply washing your hands or washing the area clean upon which you have ejaculated. I think that, perhaps, you are repulsed by the act of masturbation and that the only way for you to cleanse yourself of that act is the ritual shower which you take after each act of masturbation. chris
And the even weirder part is that I used to masturbate and not shower, when I was like 14 and just figuring out about masturbating, and it didn't affect me, I would go anywhere and do anything right after I masturbated.
Yes, just not after, after, I feel like, "Ewwww, this semen is so gross, why did I do it? And what if some semen leaks onto my boxers, or onto my clothes, and what am I gonna do, when it dries, it dries all sticky and caky, and, it will be disgusting!" Please help, because I need to find a way to fix this soon because my girlfriend want to have sex soon, and I am scared that the same thing might happen with her, and that could be really embarrassing!!!!
Polloloco: this may be a relatively serious issue for you. In "MACBETH", Lady MacBeth couldn't rid her hands of the blood. But it wasn't the blood that she wanted to wash away, it the was the deed. Likewise, Pilate, washed the blood from his hands to assuage himself of the guilt leading to the crucifixion. chris
So what can anybody recommend, maybe I should just try masturbating one day and force myself not to shower once, and maybe I can just try little steps from there. And I never thought about Lady Macbeth when it came to this, it is true.
I suspect that you probably would benefit from a counselor who can help guide you through your feelings about masturbation, sexuality, etc. Have you had intercourse before and, if so, did you feel the need to shower after the encounter.chris