beach phobia - Phobias Message Board

mel333 · 08-04-2002, 06:00 AM

Hi Everyone,

I just came back from a holiday at the beach(Hawaii) and due to having to put on a bikini found myself starving just because of my beach phobia. I love the beach but I always feel the need to lose a few kilos which then starts feeding my ED again and I then start getting migranes whenever my weight gets too low. I am now back home in the cold and eating more yet still feeling like a nervous wreck afraid of weight gain. Does anyone else feel this exposure paranoia?
Mel

singingsmiles · 08-04-2002, 08:33 PM

I know how you feel! My friend had a pool party, and all of us were in bikinis but most of my friends are like STICKS with Flat stomachs! I felt so jealous! I wouldn't go anywhere w/o my towel around my stomach, or my arms around my stomach! It wasn't fun! You aren't alone!

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--katie--

jen03 · 08-05-2002, 01:21 AM

Mel~
I know exactly how you feel! I always feel like I need to lose weight for summer cause I know that no matter how hard I try, I will have to wear a swimsuit. Just the thought of trying on swimsuits makes me sick! I am trying to overcome my fear by thinking of it this way. When you are at the beach you spend the whole time worrying about how you look right? Well, chances are, everyone else is worrying about how they look and paying no attention to how anyone else looks. I don't know if this helps at all, but I hope it might and I hope you're feeling better soon!
~Jen

youneeak · 08-06-2002, 09:10 AM

WELCOME BACK MEL!!

I'm sorry that you spent your vaca in Hawaii dealing with weight and starvation.

But I know how you feel. I do this all the time. Only not only with the beach...(seeing as I live in midwest USA and there's not a beach for a gazillion miles, unfortunatly...) but I do this when I'm going to be seeing people I haven't seen in a while, or when I have to try on clothes, or of course when I go to weddings or parties...it's part of the ED, as I'm sure you are aware.

How are you doing now????? I know that you said you were back home but you're still fighting the urges that come along with a sneaky ED. Don't let it win! Mel, you're beautiful and don't need to lose weight. There are a million and one health consequences, and you're doing so well living your ED-recovery life. I know you can keep it up!!!

I'm thinking about you...let us know how you're feeling!!

NEVER GIVE UP
~sarah~

mel333 · 08-07-2002, 08:35 AM

Hi everyone,
Thanks Katie, Jen and Sarah for the support. It's amazing how the swimsuit thing can cause such a panic! and those horrible changeroom mirrors! I seem to have cellulite over my entire body when I look in those-scary!
Sarah, hope you are doing ok. Thankyou for what you said and you are right. I should try being more relaxed about things and I am usually ok apart from the beach trigger! and summer! This gets the ED going like crazy. I get really paranoid and think everyone is judging me unless I wear heaps of clothes. I am tall too so I stand out alot.
I did still have a good time and did lots of shopping which helps me eat less but spend more! great!. But ofcause now I'm back at work I'm eating alot and gaining weight. I have a dorito craving all the time.

I find once I lose some weight I just want to keep going and feel depressed and fat. It's amazing how easy it is to slide back to being an anxious mess. I do this quite a bit. But there are more times these days when food does not control me so I am getting better and slowly trying to care about myself more.

Mel