The excitment and calmness I felt at the same time the second I found out this was a normal fear was almost beautiful!
I had been going through this phobia since I was in first grade, Im 23 now.
I felt like I couldnt tell anyone about my fear when I was little because they would think I was crazy.
Kids would throw up all the time in school then, and I like another poster would run out of the class as fast as possible and hide! Often times, I would pretend I was sick too, just so I could go home and be safe.
One time I got so freaked out by some kid who threw up on his desk, I faked sick (first grade) for a whole week. Soon, my cover was blown when my parents realized I wasnt sick, but they had no idea why I was scared to go back to school.
I would even remember where kids had thrown up on the floor and I wouldnt step on that spot for the whole rest of the year.
I even stopped eating much of anything for about a year. From 11 to 12 years old, I thought that If I didnt eat I couldnt throw up. The only thing I can really remember from these delicate years are the pains of hunger. Oddly enought, the pain made me feel safe and calm. I was on edge if they were not there.
My case of the crazies continued on as I linked throwing up to germs and couldnt eat unless I had washed my hands. If I wasnt able to wash my hands I would pick up the food with a napkin and eat it that way. I remember eating my french fries all the way down to part where my finger held it and then I would put that little tainted nub into a discard pile. My mother would look at me like I was crazy.
Perhaps this fear has ruined me in another way, socialization. With many college age students drinking tends to be a common bonding experience. People get drunk do stupid things and talk about it the next day, and then plan for the night ahead. I however have bowed out from drinking. I dont drink, I never have and I never will. People look at me like I have tail when I tell them that I dont drink. I tell them I have allergies so its a little better. I cant imagine their faces of horror if I told them, "no I cant drink, I am deathly afraid of throwing up, or even worse watching your disgusting body heave up the poison liquid you couldnt handle."
Besides not drinking, I am scared of having children for obvious reasons and I carry a Puke Prevention kit around at all times. Contents: gum, ginger, dramamine and asprin. Of all things to get with this fear, I suffer from motion sickness. Thats a pure joy to all I travel with, trust me. "Stop, pull over....I need you to stop...please...can you take me home?"
Well thats my story, a few months ago I threw up and I didnt die, and I seem to be getting a bit better, however the minutes before the deed is done, my mind is still flooded with thoughts.. "dont go near the toilet, its over if you do...youll feel better after, but who cares...breathe in calmly...out...crap."
I love reading these...it makes me feel better!