Re: asextual phobia of sex?
As I read through your posting, felt like I am looking myself in a mirror. However, there are few core differences- I am NOT depressed NOR have any type of anxiety, I never needed nor talked to a shrink and never had any type of medication for any thing. I am very happy, calm and over achiever in my studies and work. Although I do sometime wonder why I am so different than others?
I am in my 40s, a gay male, and just like you I never want to get sexually close with anyone even if I am attracted to them. I, too, scared or grossed out by getting sexual with another person. To me- my asexuality never became an issue with me- may be because I regularly meditate since my childhood (at the age of 4), very well understand the difference between loneliness and aloneness. Some time I thank GOD because I do not have to go through the heart breaks, spouses fights and way too much spending time in searching “The One” in life. Life is to be lived in the moment and within. The happiness is within and can not be brought through some one or by some one. Please accept your condition, focus on exploring your inner true self which is pure, complete and silent. Hope my life example help.
All the best,