I thought this topic was best for guys to read and reply. My BF and I have been together for almost a year. I was coming out of a relationship when I met him and was feeling wild when I met his and I slept with him on our third date which for me is fast. We didn't really have much foreplay on any dates before that.... just kissing. The thing is during the course of our relationshiop so far I have only received oral from him about 3 times and he has never used his hands on me down there. We live a ways apart so we only see each other two weekends a month. He is a very sexual guy and always wants it, but he rarely gives foreplay besides a little necking, then it's straight to intercourse. I guess I spoiled him by giving it up too early without making him work for it??? Or does he have a problem with like being intimate? It's like he's afraid of getting near there if it's not his penis. I don't get it. I know I should ask but I don't want him to be self conscious or feel he is obligated to do things for me. What do you think his deal is?
1.) He seemed to know what he was doing the few times he did give me oral. But it was for a span of maybe one minute then on to other things.
2.) Yes I give him oral and do it often. And I told him how I have never enjoyed it until I was with him, which is true.
3.) I asked him to kiss me down there and he said he didn't want to.
He also has ADD so I think this may have something to do with it. He won't even let me give him oral for very long, he just wants the intercourse. It's not a huge deal, I enjoy sex with or without the foreplay. But hey a woman's clitoris shouldn't go ignored!
I made it clear the other day that I would like more foreplay and he took offense saying I don't enjoy sex with him.
Just seems if I say anything he gets upset and defensive but if I don't say anything then things will never get better. I'm being cute and sexy when I say these things too, not abrasive or accusational. Any ideas?
What bugs me is that he gets defensive and does not really listen to what you are saying and want. Maybe you should try again being very clear about you enjoying him, but still wanting more foreplay, after all it is your body and you are engaged in a relationship composde of two, not only him. Don't give up on this, because you should find a compromise solution for the two of you.
I found out why:
He told me that he will only give oral if it's right after the girl has a shower b/c we bleed and urinate there and he doesn't want to go there unless it's clean. He doesn't want to go down on a "swamped up" vagina after a long day. Is that weird? He said he and his ex had a lot of arguments about it, so I know it's not me. I don't have a problem with showering, but I give him oral in the middle of the day and have no problem with that....He says it's different because girls have an "inny" and guys have an "outty".
Just wanted to check if he has a weird phobia or if a lot of guys feel this way.
well I guess you can test that theory out by hopping in the shower before sex.......my theory is he's just selfish, especially after reading your other thread about how he wants a threesome and he knows you're not comfortable with it....like I said before, he doesn't respect your boundries, and he also doesn't seem to be concerned about satisfying your needs either.....why are you with this guy?
Last edited by Administrator; 06-11-2010 at 07:11 PM.
Congrats to you for finding out what to do for the both of you and not just let it go on. The thing is though if you like that and he wont do that- or do anything to satisfy you then- thats a toughy. There are LOTS and LOTS of men who dont care one bit what time of day it is or how long its been since you had a shower. They love oral sex. And they would love to please you. I wouldnt think it has anything to do with you. If you really care about this guy -youll have to find a way to get around this and hopefully he will try for your sake. If he flat out wont- then like another poster said - youll have to figure out if thats enough for you sexually. If your not happy with that then of course move on. I think its great though that you are willing to help him thru that. I hope he will give some effort for you.