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Old 09-21-2003, 01:25 PM   #1
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CuteSouthernGrl HB User
Post Is there a such thing has having an HIV phobia?

Is anyone else like this? I performed unprotected oral sex on a guy and was tested a little over 6 months after this possible exposure.(negative)My doctor wants to test me again in November... so I'm scared. Some times, all I can think about is HIV and whether or not I have it. I've been having pains in my pelvic region and sometimes, it seems like my glands are swollen. (maybe it's just b/c I touch them and irritate them) I'm always on the internet which worries more but I can't help it... getting on the internet and looking up info on HIV has become a habit. I can't concentrate, sometimes I just start crying b/c I'm afraid I have HIV and will die. Sometimes, I don't want to go out with friends or go shopping or any of the things that I normally enjoy doing because I just think, what's the point? I have this disease and will die soon. I have a lot of guilt and regret for what I did (I had a b/f at the time that I had oral sex with another guy) and it is killing me inside. I'm afraid that I'm a late seroconverter, or that the test had an error, or that I have another co-infection such as Hepatitis that made my test wrong. Why can't I just accept that my 6 months test was negative and leave it at that? If I get put on anti- depressants, will that help me at all? I've never been on them b/c I've always had a happy life and never worried about diseases or death and now I'm just miserable ALL the time. Sometimes I KNOW FOR SURE that I'm fine and I'm taking it a little too far then other times, I KNOW I HAVE HIV and I'm scared and alone. Do I have a fear of HIV or what? Any responses will be greatly appreciated.

[This message has been edited by CuteSouthernGrl (edited 09-21-2003).]

[This message has been edited by CuteSouthernGrl (edited 09-21-2003).]

 
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Old 09-21-2003, 01:58 PM   #2
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scaredcollegeguy HB User
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I can relate to what you are going through. I don't know if you read my post, but I've been having serious problems with my lymph glands in my neck, but with all the info I have, it's not possible for me to have it (all partners neg, I'm neg at 3 months) yet I have headaches all the time, enlarged lymph nodes, and a general rash on my skin that comes and goes.

The doc along with all my friends and family (including ex-bf) think I am going crazy. You may want to do what I did, and get some therapy to help you cope with this. Maybe they'll give you some meds to help you cope until you get your test result back. Neg or Poz, you're not being healthy right now. Most likly it's all in your head (I know, I've heard it a million times myself) but until you can get a final test done post 6 months, you may want to get help in the meantime. I just started, but I think it will help me cope for another 3 months when I get tested again.

Hope this helps.

 
Old 09-21-2003, 02:04 PM   #3
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CuteSouthernGrl HB User
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I already had a test done 6 months after the possible exposure and it was negative. My problem is, I just can't stop thinking that maybe the test just didnt pick it up or something... I'm just going crazy.

 
Old 09-21-2003, 02:33 PM   #4
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I SOOO DO BELIEVE there is a phobia! I was thinking the same thing this morning!!! I have been posting for the past week since I was diagnosed with Y.I and thrush. Everything I read about thrush lead directly to HIV (and that's why doctor requested the test). I was in a MAJOR panic all week...and started developing all the other symptoms. I think I have been reading WAY TOO MUCH. I went back to my doctor this morning to tell them that the thrush had returned this weekend after drinking alcohol again and to tell them that I didn't even want my results because I couldn't handle it! The nurse told me the results were in and they were negative. I was NOT relieved completely!! I still thought...no, I have it and the test is obviously wrong. Why do I still have thrush? They put me back on med for the thrush an said I just must not have been on long enough. They don't know why I would have it. But if it's not gone next week to come back again. Funny though...most of the other symptoms are now gone...the headache, neckache......CAN ANYONE SAY SEVERE STRESS?????????????

 
Old 09-21-2003, 07:24 PM   #5
ThinkingCap
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YESSSS! There is a Phobia, and all of you posters, including myself, have it!


 
Old 09-22-2003, 10:55 AM   #6
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Me too! Your not alone!!
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Good Luck and Be Safe

 
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