hi i dont think its unusual to feel like this, as alot of people l no feel the same l swore i would never look at a dead body, till my dad died. l wouldnt go to the hospital to see him, then a few days later when he came home l had this urge to see my dad, he just looked like he was sleeping, it brings tears to my eyes writing this, it was the coffin that scared me, l couldnt let my dad go till l had seen him and told him l loved him l even kissed his head before the funeral after all he was my dad and l know he wouldnt hurt me sorta speak. its not unusual at all to feel like you do, i wouldnt like a mortician boyfriend making my tea hahahahahaah take care