Re: my Nyctophobia is extremely bad. I need help.
I'm so sorry you are going through this difficult time. I know it can be embarrassing. I know what it's like to be afraid of the dark and afraid of being alone. You are not crazy or alone in this. Please don't let anyone mock you about it.
You need to have a heart to heart talk with your mom or school counselor or someone and tell them you need them to take you seriously because this fear is controlling your life and you can't stop having it. Fear can be overcome, but it is not easy and it takes deliberate hard work on our part to face this directly and probably you need help from a good therapist. You can tell your mom or whoever that you are very serious that you want to deal with your fear but that you can't overcome it by yourself. Ask her to take your fear seriously and to help you get help as soon as possible. not because of what others think about it, but because this is ruining your life and you want to be able to get control over it.
I personally believe there is a very real reason behind terror. I think something real happened that created a very real terror in you. Perhaps it was when you were very small and don't remember, or perhaps you simply cannot bring it to your conscious mind because it seems too terrible to face. The fear could be from a traumatic experience like someone going into your room and touching you or molesting you, making you feel helpless and afraid. It could also be from something innocent that spooked you. Like hearing the wind beating a branch on the window after being in the room where someone was watching a scary movie or after someone read you a scary story. The subconscious mind affects our perception of reality. I'm not trying to scare you or guess what is behind your fear. I'm just saying something is behind your fear and it needs to be discovered because evidently you have Post Traumatic Stress from whatever you experienced. We don't really get over PTS, but we can learn to sanely live with it.
I believe fear is based on something that originally really happened, that may be innocent or may have been from someone's bad intentions. Either way it can affect us the same way. I know I became terrorized of walking to the bathroom at night and of being alone in the house at night. I never had before, but suddenly I cried my eyes out if I was going to be alone at night or had to get up to walk to the bathroom (because when I walked back to my bed is when I saw the man looking in my bedroom window. It turned out to be a man that worked at a church across the street, and yes he was a pervert!).
I was an adult before I felt safe enough that I remembered seeing the man looking into my bedroom window. Before I remembered, my fear was confusing to me and to my mom. The moon must have been reflecting light onto his face that night making him look extra creepy, besides the fact that he had no business being at my window. Imagine how that affected the mind of a young girl of about 10 years old. To this day as an adult I make sure no one can peep through my windows at night, and that the house is locked up tight. I can sleep now, but I easily recall the creepy feeling that came over me when as a small girl I saw the man's face in the window. Sometimes I sleep in front of the TV with the sound on very low to muffle any other sounds. I like for my dog to sleep inside my room because I know she will bark like crazy if anything strange was going on, and she is relaxed and sleeping nearby all night.
Just like our sense of reality can be negatively affected, it also can be positively affected. I know by my own experience that to change thinking on a deep level is very possible, but it's hard work and usually we need help to do it. First I had to face that my thinking was skewed by the past, and then I got hypnotherapy and deep relaxation therapy at various times in my life to overcome my dreads. Dreads are a good description of the inner terror I had.
I can say that I can manage my fears now so they don't control me anymore. I can sleep alone and I can sleep in the dark. I can now do things like drink hot milk to make myself relax and I can let myself go to sleep. I no longer feel a need to check the locks more than one time, and I'm OK with it if my dog decides to sleep in a different room.
You can retrain your mind to focus on pleasant and soothing things, and to feel safe whether or not you ever discover what got the fear started, because you can ralize that regardless the past you are safe now. But you are definitely not alone. and you definitely aren't acting crazy.
Don't let anyone convince you otherwise. If I can help I'm here for you.
Last edited by jillian4; 07-15-2011 at 06:44 AM.