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Old 10-23-2003, 02:31 AM   #1
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Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Yorkshire, UK
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Redhead23 HB User
Question Add & Phone "Phobia"

Will post this on the anxiety board but I've read elsewhere that this is common with ADHD/Aspergers and similar problems so would like to know if anyone on here or there kids has a similar problem:


Anyone else got a problem talking on the phone, especially RINGING people?

I mean I have trouble approaching people and asking for help/information/assistance face to face but on the phone I am even worse!

This is something I've had huge meltdowns over as a kid, I am just petrified of talking to people on the phone and even more terrified of RINGING someone up (to the point of breaking down in tears as a kid when my Mum tried to encourage me to do so), and to this day it is nigh-on impossible for me to ring ANYONE (even a takeaway or a taxi) unless I know I am asolutely ALONE in the room and nobody is listening in.

I'm OK-ish taking calls these days but "can't" ring people unless I ABSOLUTELY have to, I'm OK nowadays ringing very close friends (of which I don't have many!), my parents and my boyfriend but preferably on their mobile because not knowing who is going to pick up the phone (being afraid of mistaking the person or not knowing who I'm talking to) just TOTALLY freaks me out! When I do ring anyone other than that then I keep stuttering, getting stuff wrong, my mind goes blank and I feel like a total idiot!

I've read on an Aspergers/ADHD forum that this is VERY common in autism spectrum disorders, especially for Aspergers it is apparently common to have problems with audio perception anyway (I have slight problems with audio perception but I can understand what peoplesay on the phone without a problem so that isn't it).

What's weird is though how I NORMALLY struggle interpreting visual clues when face to face (as well as toen of voice etc.) so why the heck am I struggling SO MUCH MORE when I DON'T have to deal with that?

This is really doing my head in and complicating my attempts at finding someone to help me/diagnose me, I've written hundreds of Emails that haven't been answered and everyone tells me to RING a self-help group and ask if they can tell me more about diagnosis in adults, but how the heck CAN I when I'm scared even to ring a close friend?

Anyone else as pathetic as that?

------------------
Redhead23

Female, 25

Quit smoking & left abusive relationship in 2003 - now there's just some 25 lbs to lose and my head to clear!

Possible ADD

Anxiety, panic attacks
__________________
25, female, AS with attentional dysfunction

Inhibited Perfectionist

 
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Old 10-23-2003, 07:49 AM   #2
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Blaana HB User
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Yes, I am almost exactly like that. I am much better on the medication but still have trouble calling people. If there is a phone call on my list of things to do, it usually gets carried over to the next day for several days. And there are some that I never make and after a long time I decide that it is too late and try to forget about it, but I feel guilty for not making the call. I also have the audio perception problem and always have had it.

Social situations are unpleasant to me generally. I do enjoy hanging out with people in my computer programming classes though. I think it is because we don't engage in small talk. Small talk is something I don't do well at all and it is probably because I usually forget something very important or say something inappropriate. Maybe that is why I don't like talking on the phone. I'm ok if I can relax, but if I'm nervous then things get jumbled up in my brain. I've had people tell me before after they got to know me, that they thought something was wrong with me when they first met me. I think I come across as either stupid (if I try to carry on a conversation when I'm nervous) or conceited (if I lay low and don't talk).

Blaana

 
Old 10-23-2003, 08:07 AM   #3
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Redhead23 HB User
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Thanks for the response, glad I'm not the only one! I have the same problem with small talk, although I have a problem with ALL phone calls even strictly professional, and small talk shouldn't be a problem there (usually you're told by the comany you work for what you're supposed to say but I always get it wrong or swallow words/sounds).

The weird thing is also that I can't do anything with an "audience", i.e. just like I CANNOT phone up someone when I know someone else is listening, so I can't go up to someone for help or ask for information when I have someone else with me, cos it makes me worry much more about *getting it wrong* (I guess I don't mind making a fool outta myself in front of someone I don't know, but I do mind if it's in front of someone I know?), and I *have* to do it myself, all on my own.

This is odd because when it comes to going for a drink etc. then I do NOT dare go into a restaurant or bar/club on my own I HAVE to meet up with someone and am often deliberately late because I can't bear to sit there on my own.

------------------
Redhead23

Female, 25

Quit smoking & left abusive relationship in 2003 - now there's just some 25 lbs to lose and my head to clear!

Possible ADD

Anxiety, panic attacks
__________________
25, female, AS with attentional dysfunction

Inhibited Perfectionist

 
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