Well lets start off really with how this phobia pretty much came about..
It started a few months ago around the start on July before my brithday, andd i was eating some toast at night for my supper, and i ate a corner piece of the crust, which must have been too big for me to swallow but with out realising i just ate it andd then all of a sudden it got stuck.. now i was on my own i was freaaking out.. i couldnt swallow or anything, so i ran to the bathroom and gulped down LOADS of water and THANK GOD it moved down! But it resulted in scratching the inside of my throat.. this made it very painful and this is when i start panicking about "What if i choke on something else the next time i eat?" I was just in so much shock that something so simple just went wrong.. After that i then stopped eating solid food all together because i was so terrified that anything would then get stuck because it was all still fresh in my mind.. whats worse is that it happened about 11pm so i barely got any sleep because i thought id stop breathing or id choke whilst im asleep.. So i just had soups and water for a few weeks.. i went to the doctors and he saw the scratch and told me it'll take a few weeks to heal (so overall it was about a month before it was fully healed) Then i slowly started eating solid food, simple things that i could swallow like mash potato or bananas etcc stuff that was soft. It had been just over 4months now since its happened and im back to eating quite alot of solid good (but ive avoided toast ever since).. but the memory is still fresh in my mind..
NOW this is where the problem is, because of this incedent i have on and off become wary of what i eat sometimes like for example sausage or chicken or even bread! because say like when your eating i need to swallow and even if i chew my food up real small, i have like feeling in the back of my throat that its not gone down.. and this is where i start to panic because when i cant swallow properly i feel like my breathing is going to stop and i panic so i take deep breaths (which is what my doctor told me) and until i can fully swallow again i wont calm down.. i have also been diagnosed with anxiety because of this situation i start to panic and then i feel like anything is wrong with me.. say like if i have a pain in my chest or left arm or something i auto assume its something wrong with my heart and im afraid.. (i think i actually have a fear of dying now that a ive almost choked to death) but anyways, one day it got really bad, and i was having a serious anxiety attack, and this resulted in an ambulance being called.. (they gave me a check over with my heart rate and everything and it was all ok) but sometimes i feel like yeahh sure thats fine but thats just a simple diagnosis
but this also leads to me thinking well what if i have heart disease or i have cancer or something or anything i havent had these checks yet and im scared that it might just happen and ill drop dead.. im so terrified..
sometimes i think i should go see a therapist to talk about all this to so that they can help me throught this, but at the same time i dont think i should because my parents might think im making a HUGE deal out of this.. i mean its not like they went through it so how can they relate. Its made a huge difference to my life and im constantly worried like i cant eat great food out with my friends i tend to just buy some ice cream desert of whatever because having something happen to me whilst im out with friends scares me too :'(
Im sorry ive rambled on for so long, but its best for you to know EVERYTHING.. If any of youu can help or relate i really need your advice because i cant do this alone its affecting my too much!