It appears you have not yet Signed Up with our community. To Sign Up for free, please click here....



Phobias Message Board
Post New Thread   Closed Thread
LinkBack Thread Tools
Old 08-12-2003, 11:18 AM   #1
Newbie
 
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Harrisburg, PA, USA
Posts: 3
Scarlet Phoenix HB User
Post Social Anxiety Disorder/Social Phobia

I'm a sixteen year old female and have had symptoms of SAD for a few years. However, I just recently realized I may have this particular anxiety disorder.

The symptoms are worse during the school year, as that is when I am around my peers the most. At school, I am constantly afraid that people are judging me or that I might say or do something stupid causing others to ridicule me. I avoid using school lavatories, sharpening my pencil, even blowing my nose in class because I'm afraid of what people may think of me. I never call my friends anymore. I'm afraid they might not want to do anything because they find me boring or embarassing to be with. Therefore they stop calling me and I have lost some of my closest friends because of this.

I want to talk to my peers, try to make friends, but I can't. I'm afraid of saying something stupid that may make them think I'm odd or unusual.

I used to be very involved in theater and performing but I don't anymore because of the social interactions involved, despite how much I miss it.

I'm afraid I'm missing out on the last years of my childhood because of these constant fears. I have told my mom about this but she insists that I'm a perfectly normal teenager and that I'll "grow out of it". She refuses to pay for me to see a doctor about this.

I was hoping that someone here may be able to relate or at least help me come up with some way to convince my mother to consider my problems and take me to a doctor.

 
Sponsors Lightbulb
   
Old 08-12-2003, 01:12 PM   #2
Inactive
(female)
 
Join Date: Dec 2002
Posts: 3,597
Jennita HB User
Post

It sounds like simple insecurity/lack of confidence.

I think there is not one person who doesn't feel some insecurities in life at any given time, and we all want to be accepted by our peers. This is probably worse during our entry before complete adulthood, which is a strange, new path...you know, you arent' a mature adult, yet you've left your childhood self long behind! Makes one feel very uncertain of the future...

Anyway, I notice there are some people I like and some I do not; sometimes it's not for any particular reason either or sometimes because we don't have common interests. But the only way to find out is to hang out with people and if they don't enjoy your company, maybe it's simply lack of common interests, or lack of time, etc. Whatever you do, don't take it personally. It's all about situations, interests, etc. If someone doesn't want to be your friend, it doesn't mean you are defective but rather it's two people who are going in different directions in life. I know it's hard to make friends these days; too busy-busy and some people really don't take friendship too seriously.

Then of course, there are alot of people today who like to put down others to make themselves feel superior. Don't let their opinions control how you feel about yourself. I'd rather have one good friend who likes me for myself than a dozen who scrutinze me under a microscope for every little bad habit...

A doctor will simply give you neurotoxic drugs which may only temporarily help but cause worsening anxieties in time, possible drug dependancy(not addiction), withdrawal syndromes and physical ailments.
Perhaps simple non-drug therapy may be helpful.

 
Old 08-12-2003, 01:21 PM   #3
Senior Veteran
(male)
 
Join Date: Feb 2003
Location: melbourne, vic, aust
Posts: 7,380
hry33 HB Userhry33 HB User
Post

Hi scarlet, is does sound like SAD, theres much info about dealing with it on the net
valium type meds as needed would help
antidepressant meds are fashionable and highly advertised to docs but probably you are a bit young for them, see the paxil website, this is one of them
__________________
Life is not a dress rehearsal

 
Old 08-12-2003, 09:23 PM   #4
Junior Member
 
Join Date: Jun 2002
Posts: 27
whatever02 HB User
Post

i agree with jennita. medicine, in this case, will just do more bad than good.

you should stick to things like jogging, eating right, working out... things that will make you feel better. IMHO

[This message has been edited by whatever02 (edited 08-13-2003).]

 
Old 08-13-2003, 07:00 AM   #5
Senior Veteran
 
Join Date: Mar 2001
Location: watertown,wi,usa
Posts: 775
ffsmith HB User
Post

It sounds to me like this is really bothering you an having a very bad impact on your life
For that reason alone you need to see a doctor.

I am not pro-medicine.
I have taken many and none have ever helped me.
But if unusually high anxiety is the problem, maybe a medicine would do you a world of good?

Sometimes a little therapy is the best. This could be just talking with a therapist or doing cognitive/behavioral exercises either on you own or in therapy.

Everyone does have social anxiety to some extent that is true.
But Social Anxiety Disorder is when this anxiety negatively effects your life more then is common.

I am in my 30ís and have never had a friend
I have no close family connections
I have no one I ever talk to or socialize with
No hope of a future
Every day when I wake up I am sorry I am still alive.

I believe when I was your age my biggest problem was social anxiety.
Obviously things have gotten worse for me.

That is why I suggest that you get help some how.
Either from a doctor or therapist or through school or something.

If you want, have your mom look at me and how bad things can get.
I will be willing to talk to her.


[This message has been edited by ffsmith (edited 08-14-2003).]

 
Old 08-13-2003, 04:40 PM   #6
Newbie
 
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Harrisburg, PA, USA
Posts: 3
Scarlet Phoenix HB User
Post

Thanks for your opinions everyone. I don't want to take any medicines for my problems because they seem just to make things worse for a lot of people and there are all those side effects. I think I have convinced my mom to at least let me see a therapist so they can tell me what they think. I had a near panic attack on the way to a birthday party today that I have been dreading so I think that conviced her as well. I started crying/hyperventilating, I got drymouth, my hands started shaking, all that fun stuff. I bet I looked psycho to all the people there when I arrived.

 
Old 08-14-2003, 05:38 AM   #7
Senior Veteran
 
Join Date: Mar 2001
Location: watertown,wi,usa
Posts: 775
ffsmith HB User
Post

That sounds like a perfect way to start.

 
Old 08-19-2003, 10:19 AM   #8
Junior Member
 
Join Date: Aug 2003
Posts: 33
WeepingWillow HB User
Post

Scarlet, I used to feel a lot like that in school I wouldn't want to get up to sharpen my pencil and I would hold back sneezes, anything not to draw attention to myself. I'm in my mid twenties now and slowly over time it did get better especially not having to anxiety of going to school everyday. I still have my issues but over the years I have been able to make a lot of progress and I am still amazed something at what I'm able to do and how I would be too afraid to do it when I was younger. So there is hope that it might get better a little over time.

 
Old 08-19-2003, 10:45 AM   #9
Inactive
 
Join Date: Aug 2003
Posts: 89
Equis HB User
Post

For the record, most psychiatrists will NOT perscribe meds for social anxiety inless it's very severe or co-morbid w/another mood disorder. Some people should do the research before acting like they know what they're talking about *meaningful looks all around*. Seriously guys, if you don't know, don't answer. No, she's not to young for ANY of the SSRI drugs out there. Most aren't FDA approved for kids only because of the money it takes to submit, etc. Doctors perscribe them all the time.

Anyways, back to the actual problem at hand, most people with social anxiety only do group CBT to overcome their fear of social interaction and learn better social skills. If it's interfearing with your life, you're doing the right thing by seeing a therapist. Remember that, just like meds, not all therapists work for everyone, so if this one doesn't do you any good, find another one.

Good luck

Kate

 
Old 08-19-2003, 11:01 AM   #10
Inactive
 
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: utah
Posts: 171
Fighter HB User
Post

Equis,

First of all Doctors are too quick to throw prescriptions around haphazzardly off the cuff of their shirt. So what makes that okay? Doctors are doctors because a piece of paper says they are. They've always seemed very careless in writing a prescrip and throwing you out the door as opposed to maybe some healing techniques like therapy and such. There are a lot of knowlegeale people on this board that have every right to express their opinions according to their experiences and the girl can decide what's best for her. That's the educated wy to go about it after all.

 
Old 08-19-2003, 01:58 PM   #11
Senior Member
 
Join Date: May 2003
Posts: 108
~~NatureLovers~~ HB User
Exclamation

have to agree with Fighter on that one

 
Old 08-22-2003, 12:55 PM   #12
Inactive
 
Join Date: Aug 2003
Posts: 89
Equis HB User
Post

Fighter, re-read my post. I didn't say that she should take meds. Yes, you have every right to express your opinion, but if you don't know, then don't treat it like fact. I was making reference to Hry telling her she's too young for those meds, when in fact she's not. I really resent how so many people present their opinions as facts on these boards. All it takes is a simple "I'm not entirely sure, but..."

Please read my entire post before critisizing it, k? Not ONCE did I say that she should simply go to a doctor, get meds, and call it good. In fact, I said completely the opposite. You also are steriotyping doctors fairly severely. I know a LOT of doctors perscribe meds AND therapy. Just like every other profession, there are good ones and bad ones (I should also point out that doctors actually go through a lot of school to get that paper). So, Mr. "educated wy", that being said, good luck with your life and learning how to read.

Kate

 
Old 08-23-2003, 12:41 AM   #13
Inactive
 
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: utah
Posts: 171
Fighter HB User
Post

Equis,

I love you too.

-----Fighter----

 
Old 08-23-2003, 09:01 PM   #14
Junior Member
 
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: usa
Posts: 11
emotion sickness HB User
Post

Quote:
Originally posted by Equis:
For the record, most psychiatrists will NOT perscribe meds for social anxiety inless it's very severe or co-morbid w/another mood disorder. Some people should do the research before acting like they know what they're talking about *meaningful looks all around*. Seriously guys, if you don't know, don't answer. No, she's not to young for ANY of the SSRI drugs out there. Most aren't FDA approved for kids only because of the money it takes to submit, etc. Doctors perscribe them all the time.

Anyways, back to the actual problem at hand, most people with social anxiety only do group CBT to overcome their fear of social interaction and learn better social skills. If it's interfearing with your life, you're doing the right thing by seeing a therapist. Remember that, just like meds, not all therapists work for everyone, so if this one doesn't do you any good, find another one.

Good luck

Kate
I agree with Katie. It makes me so mad the way some people are so quick to say anti-depressants, anti-anxiety and other medications are too often prescribed. Do some people get prescribed them when they are not the last resort, and could possibly do without? Sure, but there are also a lot of people that NEED these drugs, and have their lives saved because of them. This poor girl won't even use the restroom at school! And so many of you say she just "has a classic case of low confidence" (DUH, that is part of SAD!!!) or that she needs to just exercise and eat right (WHAT?! That isn't going to cure her SAD!!!) etc etc. Or that these kinds of medications will mess her up etc. Hmm... I'd be interested to know where that opinion is coming from. I have been on many medications and none of them were habit forming, addicting, caused significant side effects (dry mouth tops the list), or were "neurologically damaging"! I am certainly not in the position where I think anyone feeling "blue" should go on Prozac, but for a lot of people, these drugs DO help them to lead happier lives and I don't see why they should be denied help. I think the original poster should start off by making an appointment with her physician. She could then ask her physician for a referral to a therapist or a psychiatrist. Also, by going to the physician, she could use him/her to talk to her mom for her about why this is necessary. So many parents are just in denial and do not want to admit there is a problem. My mom didn't want to admit I was depressed and anorexic, so she ignored it and even when I asked for therapy she never "got around to" finding me a therapist. Where did this lead me? In a much worse place than I started. And all for nothing. Who knows, I might be recovered by now had I gotten help sooner...

Katie, I also like your idea of group therapy. I think that would be really helpful to this girl. I hope she can find a group though, since they can be pretty hard to find (in my experience anyway). I am in a group therapy for teens with anorexia and bulimia, many of who also have depression and social phobias and it has been extremely helpful to me. At the very least, it gets me out of the house for 3 hours once a week and forces me to talk during the group. I think that would be a great way for this girl to feel like she isn't alone.

 
Old 08-24-2003, 07:45 AM   #15
Newbie
 
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Harrisburg, PA, USA
Posts: 3
Scarlet Phoenix HB User
Post

Thanks for all the responses everyone. I didn't mean to start any arguments or anything.
I'm going for a physical shortly so I can get my permit, so I'll mention something to my doctor about it. I recently found a SAD message board and I've found that a lot of the people there share the same problems I have so that makes me feel a little better. Thanks again.

 
Closed Thread

Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Board Replies Last Post
Social anxiety / shame - is there any way out of this hell? big-mike1977 Anxiety 8 01-16-2009 04:45 AM
what the diffrence between Shyness and Social Anxiety Prince1 Shyness 4 11-20-2006 06:00 PM
Question about Zoloft for social anxiety yerton Mental Health 3 11-14-2006 10:28 PM
Agoraphobia, Social Phobia and Avoidant Pesonality Disorder Libby Leech Phobias 9 02-20-2006 10:12 PM
Social Phobia? dd annie Phobias 12 06-06-2005 08:59 AM




Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is Off
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off




Join Our Newsletter

Stay healthy through tips curated by our health experts.

Whoops,

There was a problem adding your email Try again

Thank You

Your email has been added








TOP THANKED CONTRIBUTORS



KarlaRei2003 (2), writeleft (2), Andy from Oz (1), maggiekitty (1), Deedle77 (1), mary63 (1), Dreamscaper (1), Nellykins (1), stacy_pace (1), jeffster (1)

Site Wide Totals

teteri66 (1166), MSJayhawk (1000), Apollo123 (898), Titchou (833), janewhite1 (823), Gabriel (758), ladybud (747), sammy64 (668), midwest1 (665), BlueSkies14 (610)



All times are GMT -7. The time now is 09:47 PM.



Site owned and operated by HealthBoards.comô
Terms of Use © 1998-2014 HealthBoards.comô All rights reserved.
Do not copy or redistribute in any form!