I have PCOS and i'm covered in hair all over me & i have a beard since 20 years old, i'm 35 now. I'm mixed-race, half Indian/half English so this makes me more hairy (my indian genes). This doesn't bother me except for having boyfriends, i get so worried about it as i know men don't like hairy women.
I was wondering how all of you women with PCOS & unwanted hair growth & beards be in relationships and have boyfriends & husbands?
I currently shave all the hair off & i have to shave all over and it takes hours everyday. I don't wax it off because it has to be half a cm long before you can wax it off. It is so, so awful having to shave all the time. I get rashes & spots from hair removal so that makes it even harder.
I'm currently having laser treatment on my face, but that takes 8 months to do that (one treatment a month), and i don't know if it will work as i had 5 treatments on my face before but that didn't work and only made the hair worse. To do 3 or 4 areas with laser would take years & years & thousands of pounds and i need a solution to it now!
I have a boyfriend at the moment, but i haven't seen him for 5 weeks now since before xmas because i've been so worried about being hairy & having to remove all the hair. I've been really stressing about it with noone to talk to about it. I only have my boyfriend in my life right now & don't know noone else & don't see my family, i have been scared i can't see him anymore and i won't know anyone then or have anyone to talk to because i'm hairy and i really, really love him and i won't be able to see him anymore.
He keeps asking to see me everyday but i say no. I'm so worried about what to do. I wish they would invent something for women (& men) to easily get rid of hair growth - like a cream that would dissolve it down to the root that you just put on you once a month. I would do anything to be smooth and i keep thinking about all the other women out there who just do their legs & armpits, that must be so easy and i wish i was like that.
I don't know how i can live with a man because of this or go on holiday with a man. I've tried tablets from the doctors but they don't work on the hair.
I keep thinking my boyfriend would be better off with another woman because i'm hairy, and if it wasn't for that it would be ok and i would be so happy to be with him.
All there is is shaving, waxing and laser treatment and the epilator i find too painful. I can't find a solution to my hair growth problem all my life.
I've posted this as i've noone to talk to. Any advice or suggestions would be appreciated, how can you have a boyfriend/husband if you are hairy?
HI - Please don't be so hard on yourself. It isn't your fault you have PCOS. And I know EXACTLY what you are going through!! I have PCOS and have the same problems with hair, especially facial hair and it is VERY depressing, but you can't let it ruin your life or the relationship you have with your boyfriend. I am in my mid 40's and have been dealing with facial hair since high school. We live in a world full of judgmental people and all too many judge a person from the outside, without getting to know what's on the inside. There are men out there who look beyond the "outside". It sounds like you really love your boyfriend, so why not sit down and talk with him about PCOS and what you have to deal with? I am sure he will understand and will not love you any less because of it. I agree with you when you say it would be so nice to be like other women who only have to shave their legs and arm pits - what I wouldn't give for that!!! Be proud of who YOU are and not ashamed, you are a wonderful and beautiful person on the inside and the outside!!! You have to first believe that yourself. I am here to chat anytime! Now call that boyfriend and tell him to come over! :-)
my hair growth started at 13, i started shaving every all over. when i was 22 the doctors finally told me i had PCOS. at 23 my appendix swelled and i had to have it removed during that time of healing i didnt shave and i started waxing. (no money for laser and it helped i already knew how to wax). but i have to wait and let the hair grow out. i have had some horrible times like- my assistant manger said "if the men shave there face so do you" (the store manager put him in his place) i have had people stare, kids say "mommy she has a beard" other people have said "what circus are you from bearded lady" and a long string of things. it hurts im not going to lie but you have to do what is best for you and you know what i say "thats right fear the beard" and "dont worry im more women then you will ever be". i am married, i got married in october 2012. my husband and i have been together 5 years. after year one he caught me shaving my face one day and i was so frightened but he walked up to me put his hand on my cheek and said "hey beautiful". on my days off i started taking breaks from shaving so my skin could heal some. he wasnt bugged by it, not that i could tell anyways. and when i started waxing he understood ...i sat down with him and explained to him the PCOS as well as the damage i was doing by shaving. we talked about the cost of laser and waxing. i now wax once a month, 1 week of no hair, 1 week of 5 o clock shadow, 1 week of longer stubble, and one week of hair. something that really helped was letting him wax me one night and the next thing you know he was doing really good at it and started under standing it a little better. i do some times feel bad and think of him leaving me or almost wanting him to leave me for a "normal girl" but he reminds me that he loves me and only wants me. from the sounds of it you need to talk to your man. walk in with a "this is me" attitude and he will either love you or leave and you know what if he want to leave let him leave there are plenty of real men in the world and you dont need to deal with some little boy
I didn't realise I had PCOS . I've been to the doctor about the facial hair and got given some cream once - that was it . I'm 48 and was told I have PCOS about two years ago . I can't afford laser treatment. This thing is sooo depressing . The last doctor I spoke to didn't take it seriously . Shaving my face tends to cause rashes and ingrowing hairs and spots . I try plucking with tweezers - I can't always get the hairs out or I nip my skin which causes spots . The upper lip hair really hurts to tweezer out. I tried waxing but it didn't work . The hairs on my face are thick and coarse . Maybe I didn't let the grow long enough or something . I'm really self-conscious about my facial hair and it's getting worse. I bought a Hair No More kit and used it to the letter . It says sometimes it can remove hair permanently or when the hair grows back it's finer or it grows back slower . I've been using it for 2 months and it does not work.
I have the exact same problem with the all over hair on my body. I have had a years worth of laser on my face, which worked very well as I have dark brown hair and very pale skin. And was so happy with the results for about a year, but then it just gradually started to come back. As I have already had a years worth on the NHS they won't fund me to have any more, so if I wanted any more I would have to pay for it my self! Which is too expensive for me to afford as I am saving up for a mortgage and paying rent all at the same time. So more laser isn't an option for me. I have been back to the doctors several times and tried different creams and different ways to remove the hair bit none of it was suitable for me. So now I'm on metformin which is suppose to reduce the hair growth, but the doctor warned me it can take up to 6 months before I start to notice any difference. So I'm happy with that, I will just continue to shave until then.
With regards to the boyfriend situation, my and my boyfriend have been together for 4 years and known each other for 5 years and my extra hair doesn't put him
Off me at all. He loves me just the way am I. If I was you I would sit down with him and explain how your feeling. I'm sure he would much rather you did that, rather than refuse to see him.
you really shouldnt be so hard on yourself, PCOS is a horrid syndrome, i was diagnosed with it at the age of 14 and the doctor still wont treat me even though i am 21.
unwanted hair is horrible and i know it can be hard to get on with your life having this worry, however if your boyfriend truely cares he wouldnt be bothered about it anyway.
shaving is probably the worst thing you could do, as the hair comes back thicker darker and quicker each time. instead go to a beautician about facial bleaching or threading then it wont need doing so much and youll only need to take a day out once every two to three weeks from your partner to sort this issue out.
I saw a naturopathic Doctor yesterday..we discussed PCOS bc my daughter was just diagnosed..she said ALTHOUGH ITS NOT EASY..the simple solution to PCOS is to come off all forms of sugar..the obvious things..and also things that turn into sugar..white/wheat flour (cookies, breads, pastas) white rice ..all processed/fast foods...UP your healthy protein and add veggies and then...most of the symptoms will disappear! Good luck with that...lol...sure it's not easy!
Last edited by Brianlucy5; 10-26-2013 at 02:00 PM.