f33l h3lpl3ss

On February 2, after asking my boss for a raise for the past year and having my request constantly dismissed as unimportant and having been turned down again by my boss that morning, I said something to my co-worker about feeling like taking a bottle of pills (I have not had a raise in 3 years, and make $20,000 a year.) After been tearful that morning, I went to a doctor's appointment that afternoon and the doctor charged me $190 (!) and didn't file on my insurance. I had talked to the doctor (first time visit) about what I was going through, and again, she dismissed me as not being able to handle 'life'. I was literally devastated by everyone's uncaring attitude. I just wanted to cry it out and clear my head. I took no 'drugs' and did not have any intention of taking my life. I started crying when I went home, and my boss came to my house and took my crying as a sign that I was 'suicidal', and signed a court order to have me evaluated in a psych hospital. Four deputies showed up at my door at 10:00 p.m. and I was placed in the back of a police car and taken to the hospital. (I could not even call my children!) I stayed there two nights in a psych ward with people who actually NEEDED to be there. The staff psychologist, psychiatrist, and counselors stated that I didn't need to be there, and that my boss overreacted. Nothing like this as ever happened to me. I have been a single mother with two kids in college. I have had no outside monetary support or emotional support from the father of my children or any outside monetary assistance. I own a beautiful home which I maintain and have purchased four vehicles. I have raised two kids who know the value of work and education and have NEVER gotten into trouble...do not drink, smoke, or do drugs. And, I have done ALL of this with very little help and on less than $20,000 a year.

This was absolutely the worst experience of my life. I not only had to deal with what had happened to me at that moment, but now I have unnecessary hospital and doctor bills and have the stigma, embarrassment and recurring memories and feelings of what my boss did to me. My children were beside themselves with worry and both got sick. After I was released by the judge from the hospital, I experienced anger, racing thoughts, shortness of breath, could not be alone, could not concentrate on anything, lost all desire to do ANYTHING, was constantly shaking and freezing, could not sleep. I was basically 'catatonic'. My work placed me on 3 weeks of administrative leave (with pay) and on Monday, they will EVALUATE my work status. I have obtained a 'release to work' from the psychiatrist. I am now on 75 mg. Zoloft, but still feel very anxious and angry. I can now sleep again and function and have even applied for other jobs. I have found everyone very supportive of me and APPALLED that my boss of 3 years would do something like that...that apparently she could not understand my situation. I have been to a counselor and she does not feel that I need counseling for 'depression', but I have a follow-up visit in one month. I need a job, but I know that I will be so uncomfortable and angry working for someone who has totally disrupted my life and livelihood.

Background: In the last three years, my mother has died, my beloved pets have died, and my brother has died. My mother was in a personal care facility for 4 months before she died, and I was the only family member who visited her on a daily basis. I was the primary caregiver for my mother for over 25 years. I have had an on-again, off-again relationship with someone who has continually cheated on me. My daughter has gone off to college. And, I just recently had a biopsy for cancer, and the results are not in yet.

Anyone's comments, please.