I was diagnosed with PTSD. About 5 months ago while driving to work, I drove up on to an accident scene where 8 people were ejected from a van onto the highway. I got out and helped some people. I talked about it to a few people afterwards, and sometimes I would think about it, but I just put it out of my head. For a while I wasn't sure if it really happened, or I would try to try to tell myself it wasn't that bad.
After the Madrid terrorist attack, I thought about it randomly and it makes me cry. I was in the shower one morning and I could hear the woman I was helping that day moan. I felt like I was right back in the road.
Now that I am in therapy, my therapist and I are trying to discover what emotions I felt at the time of the accident, so I can "reframe" it and not have it be so traumatic. But I can't remember what I felt, really. I felt like I went on auto pilot almost as soon as I pulled over my car. I know it was a gruesome scene, and I grabbed my stomach when I saw some injured people, but after that I went into "help mode".
For anyone who has gone through the PTSD healing and couldn't remember your emotions, how did you get in touch with them?