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Old 06-25-2004, 01:57 PM   #1
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Tanki HB User
Unhappy Makes me sad.

Hey Guys,


Whenever I read things that have to do with PTSD symptoms and so forth, it makes me really sad to know that I can relate to alot of it. I sometimes have to avoid reading too much of an article, certain posts and so forth because I could get stuck in the past, and i've dug myself out of there and don't want to go back, but I was reading (still am) an article on PTSD called The body and soul, and to be able to relate and get a better understanding that what I was feeling has a name, it can really be a bummer.

I guess i'm reading cause I have literally have nothing to do. Listening to music, bumming myself out.

I don't know what to do with myself at the moment, Any suggestions?
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~Tanki

 
Old 06-25-2004, 04:11 PM   #2
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Re: Makes me sad.

I say, find an old episode of Star Trek (or Next Generation, or Deep Space Nine, or Voyager...you get the point) and escape literally to another galaxy. I've also found that reading books by Anne McCaffrey do the same thing. Mild science-fiction/fantasy. It helps remove me from this world, and gives me a break.
I'm with you, though..it really saddens me when I relate to people so well here and on the SI board. It's one thing to not be alone, but a very different thing when it seems almost as if everyone has gone through it, and we're forced to wonder what this world is coming to. The sheer numbers of people who've been through similar experiences to ours boggles my mind. I guess I wish there were a way to heal us all, but we can only really heal ourselves.
Hang in there, kiddo. And, trust me, Star Trek. It works!

Last edited by zimnah; 06-25-2004 at 04:12 PM.

 
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Old 06-26-2004, 05:43 AM   #3
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Re: Makes me sad.

Zimnah,

I definatly couldn't watch star trek ... hahaha it drives me nuts.

I'm better now today though, was a bit bummed for awhile.

The 2 words that bother me the most right now about ptsd is:

Hyperviligence and hypearousal.

Them meaning being weary of others, and fight, flight response.

I never knew what I was feeling had an acutal name, funny how I just found that out.

Unless my psychiatrist told me already and i forgot?

Thanks for the reply hon, I'll talk to you later.
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Old 06-26-2004, 09:46 AM   #4
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Re: Makes me sad.

Hmm..life without Star Trek......ARRGGGHHHH! That would finish me LOL

As for the terminology, hypervigilance and hyperarousal, I guess I've been aware of them for years. I've always related them to another 'hyper' word: hyperactive, which never even came close to the destructive bent that would possess my younger sister and cause her to run maniacally about the house, yelling at the top of her lungs and generally making me want to pull my hair out!
Ah, well...I still suggest going to another world, though maybe not by way of the Starship Enterprise!
Glad to hear its better today. Hang in there!

 
Old 06-26-2004, 08:17 PM   #5
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apinecone HB User
Re: Makes me sad.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Tanki
I never knew what I was feeling had an acutal name, funny how I just found that out.

Unless my psychiatrist told me already and i forgot?
Quote:
Originally Posted by zimnah
I still suggest going to another world, though maybe not by way of the Starship Enterprise!
"Another world"! Pops into my head what Jesus said: "Physician, heal thyself!" or as commonly translated "Practice what you preach!".

Here's the "empathy" thing again! Nothing against physicians, but most have not experienced the traumas their patients have, and so the patients don't feel 'empathy'-- that they are not alone in the world-- that someone else has actually shared their misery and can truly share the 'feeling', not the abstraction.

This is literally non-physicians trying to 'heal themselves'-- right or wrong-- it's about 'sharing the pain and agony', and somehow there IS healing just in that. But why is that so hard to understand?! Because of the presumption that "NOBODY knows the trouble I've seen..." I am not even going close to the "nobody knows but Jesus", I am going to AT LEAST SOMEBODY DOES IN MY WORLD HERE AND NOW I"M HAVING A HARD TIME MAKING IT TO TOMORROW.

Peace.

 
Old 06-27-2004, 02:47 PM   #6
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Re: Makes me sad.

As a Jew, I'm not so sure about the Jesus part...however, the "physician, heal thyself" does strike a chord. The saying refers to the fact that, as a physician, that subject should know the cure for his own illness. As PTSD survivors, we all know the cure for our pain..but it's easier said than done. We may not have the strength to heal ouraselves individually, but togwether, we can conquer the world of pain we've been through.
If you've never had the opportunity to see the Red Green Show, then you should. In the US, it's usually on PBS. In the UK, I'm not sure it's available (it's a Canadian-based show), but the website should be around somewhere. Red Green has a wonderful simple saying: "I'm pullin' for ya. We're all in this together." That's the point here. This board allows all of us to be in this together, with peer support. I realise that sounds a bit cheesy, but its the best I can do.
Pine, hang in ther with us. Please don't get so jaded that we can't help you. I'm guessing your angry. What's up? Let us know. You won't get preaching from me, but I will do my best to offer support.
Until then,
as you said,
Peace.

 
Old 06-27-2004, 06:29 PM   #7
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apinecone HB User
Re: Makes me sad.

Quote:
Originally Posted by zimnah
"I'm pullin' for ya. We're all in this together." ...Pine, hang in ther with us. Please don't get so jaded that we can't help you. I'm guessing your angry. What's up?
Thanks-- I know and appreciate that very much. Also your thoughtfulness! I'm not angry just traumatized. A lot of unrealautistic ideals zapped along the way but I cherish them dearly. Just one of the walking wounded, ya know? Peace + love!

 
Old 06-28-2004, 09:49 AM   #8
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Re: Makes me sad.

Me and My Psychiatrist have talked about hyperarousal and hypeviligence, I guess I just assumed that what I went through wasn't that even when it's clear that it has happened. Actually having a word like that explains how you feel, and I guess it is better knowing that there is a name for what we go through, it still is the bummer none the less, and it's never fun.
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Old 06-29-2004, 03:46 PM   #9
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Re: Makes me sad.

you said it...it's a bummer to go through. It's been a long haul for me, and most days, I can hang in there, so what needs to be done, other days, I'm angry all over again...most days, though, if I think about it, I'm just tired. Tired of the whole thing. I guess I'm beginning now to realise that my life would have been so very different, and I would be somewhere so different than from where I'm at now...
Maybe. Life sucks, but I wouldn't trade the world for my husband. He is truly my other half. It just makes me sad to realise how much of my personality stems from the abuse I survived. On the other hand, my mom tends to be a bit of a ****, so maybe even that's a good thing! LOL

 
Old 06-29-2004, 07:52 PM   #10
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apinecone HB User
Re: Makes me sad.

I'm sure Simon & Garfunkel wouldn't mind me sending this over the e-waves to help build a friendship

Bridge Over Troubled Water

When you're weary, feeling small, when tears are in your eyes, Iíll dry them all.
I'm on your side, oh, when times get rough and friends just can't be found,
like a bridge over troubled water, I will lay me down.
Like a bridge over troubled water, I will lay me down.

When you're down and out, when you're on the street,
when evening falls so hard, Iíll comfort you.
I'll take your part, oh, when darkness comes and pain is all around,
like a bridge over troubled water, I will lay me down.
Like a bridge over troubled water, I will lay me down.

Sail on silver girl, sail on by. Your time has come to shine, All your dreams are on their way.
See how they shine, oh and when you need a friend, I'm sailing right behind
Like a bridge over troubled water, I will ease your mind.
Like a bridge over troubled water, I will ease your mind.

 
Old 06-30-2004, 04:15 PM   #11
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Re: Makes me sad.

That is too weird!! I once asked my mom (she's a child of the 60's...we all had children young in my family. the age thing between my family and my husband's would boggle your mind!) if she had a theme song, and she said it was "bridge over torubled water," and here you are quoting it! I'm laughing so hard, I'm nearly crying. While I appreciate the seriousness of your post, and don't deny, seeing my mother's quotes here was the LAST thing on earth I ever expected to see. My own theme, as it were, is from U2, and it's a one liner:
"Don't let the (people without benefit of married parents word}s get you down." It's from a song called Ultraviolet, I think from the Zooropa or the Achtung album. I'm one who thinks in pictures and am very moved by music of all sorts: I recently (well, withing the past year) attended my first live opera, and fell in love. Still can't stand the stuff on the radio or on tv, but in the theatre...I take a lot of tissue! I find release in music. I also find validation. It's strange, but even a song that sparks my anger is soothing in the end. It seems to become an extension of me, and after a few hundred replays, I feel curiously purged. Maybe this is how I've kept what's left of my sanity!
Bridge over troubled water is so appropriate for those of us connecting here on the boards. I just wish my mother could have found another theme for herself...like maybe the one she and my father have as "their song"; Climaxx Precious and Few. Personally, my husband and I have adopted "As time goes by."..love that song!
PS the tquote included a questionable word, so I've edited. It's a strong statement, but I believe ultimately relative. This is not to say that unmarried parents have done anything wrong (we won't discuss my firstborn! LOL), but I understand the word itself being banned.

Last edited by zimnah; 06-30-2004 at 04:18 PM. Reason: unsuitable wording

 
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