Hi, everyone. I'm new to this thread. I was diagnosed with PTSD yesterday. I've had it for several years. It all started when I was raped at age 21 (now 30), then I spent 5 years in an abusive marriage (physically and mentally) , my only brother past away 5 years ago at age 20 from injuries received in a car wreck , at the age of 28 I had to have a hysterectomy which I didn't want because I wanted more children but I needed and had several complications including my bladder shutting down, then 4 weeks later, I was back in the hospital with a hernia that required major surgery. I was diagnosed with fibromyalsia 2 years ago and I am now having to use a wheelchair to get around a lot of the time. Boy is my life a mess. I have found a wonderful therapist but I don't know if I can relive everything again. I still have flashbacks of the rape, my ex-husband, and my brothers wreck. Do the flashbacks ever go away?
The flashbacks will go away in time. Flashbacks believe it or not is a part of healing. We go through them when we are ready to deal with it , same with memories. You just have to take it a step at a time.
After 8 years of therapy, and still seeing the same psychiatrist now and I'm 24 (started to see her at age 16) I learned to cope, learned how to let myself heal, letting go of the past and regretting that I was raped, that I was abused mentally, physically, emotionally, verbally and sexually by my ex at 16, after that ended in 1996 I was assaulted, harrassed and threatened by 8 other guys from the years of 1996-2001.
Therapy did wonders for me, I used to be plauged with PTSD, and just 4 months ago I was PTSD free. I still am and I'm hoping that it doesn't come back. I still get triggers, body memories, 'fantasies/daydreams' but they are less, The nightmares are slowly vanishing even though I had a weird dream the other night.
Are you talking to anyone about the past rape and abuse?
Reading the book trauma and recovery, as well as the body remembers helped me alot too, gave me a better understanding about what I was going through emotionally. Alot of good information. If you are interested i'll give you the authors.
The more you talk about it, learn how to heal and cope with this it does get better. My life has been PTSD free for about 4 months now, but you'll always remember it, how can anyone not have it with them forever, but you can have a life after the fact. Just like me. Time heals.
This reply comes a bit late...sorry. Yes, the flashbacks fade. They're just your mind's way of remembering the details when it's able to cope with them. You have a lot on your plate, so try to be patient, as your brain has a lot to deal with. How you can possibly find these superhuman resources of strength and patience, I don't know, but most of us do.
I've been off the boards for a while..I said in another thread it was because of work, but the reality is this: it's been getting back to work after a mild stroke. I'm pretty much back to normal, but have a lot of short term memory loss. I'm going along at a good pace, then suddenly realise I have no idea who handles our eligibility issues..and I've known the woman for over 2 years!
My point is this: give yourself a break. You've got a lot there. Allow the rest of your mind to catch up with your intellect, and healing will come. Hang in there.