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Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) Message Board


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Old 09-06-2004, 01:13 PM   #1
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Trying to Understand!!!!

I have been married now for almost 2 years to a combat medic, vietnam vet. He suffers form PTSD as well as an alcohol problem. We dated for a year before we married. ( I am his 4th wife) I told him upfront that I did not want to be involved with anyone with an alcohol problem. He assured me that he only drank a beer every now and then. Now I am aware of the depth of his problem. He can go months without drinking, then he can go months drinking heavy every day. It is like riding on a roller coaster of his emotions. I go to work and never know what mood he will be in that evening. Rage, sorrow, happy, emotionally bankrupt!!! I have never said a word to him about my disappointment in discovering his addiction, I feel it would make no difference. However I have spoke with him about not wanting to live the rest of my life being brought down by his misery. He has no reason to feel so hopeless and full of despair....we have everything a person could want. He is fine until he drinks.....then he becomes whatever mood settles on him at the moment. Does any vet out there have any advise

 
Old 09-06-2004, 04:27 PM   #2
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Re: Trying to Understand!!!!

Quote:
Originally Posted by CJ_in_WV
I have been married now for almost 2 years to a combat medic, vietnam vet. He suffers form PTSD as well as an alcohol problem. We dated for a year before we married. ( I am his 4th wife) I told him upfront that I did not want to be involved with anyone with an alcohol problem. He assured me that he only drank a beer every now and then. Now I am aware of the depth of his problem. He can go months without drinking, then he can go months drinking heavy every day. It is like riding on a roller coaster of his emotions. I go to work and never know what mood he will be in that evening. Rage, sorrow, happy, emotionally bankrupt!!! I have never said a word to him about my disappointment in discovering his addiction, I feel it would make no difference. However I have spoke with him about not wanting to live the rest of my life being brought down by his misery. He has no reason to feel so hopeless and full of despair....we have everything a person could want. He is fine until he drinks.....then he becomes whatever mood settles on him at the moment. Does any vet out there have any advise
My brother was a vietnam vet and also suffered PTSD. Fortunately, he did stop drinking but got diabetes from Agent Orange that at the end recently, took his life. What's happening here is the flashbacks, rage (anger), etc. The only way is to get him to AA and also therapy for his PTSD. I have PTSD also from a car accident and my brother's death.

 
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Old 09-13-2004, 03:25 PM   #3
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Re: Trying to Understand!!!!

CJ,

I too am a vietnam vet with PTSD, so I can understand what your husband is going through. There is a big difference between PTSD and "Combat PTSD". He drinks to forget the memories of what he saw and experienced in Vietnam.
The best thing you can do for him is to get him to Vet Center for help. I've been going to one in Phila, and it's been the only treatment that has really made a difference for me.

I have heard from other vets that the VA hospital in Matinsburg, WV has a very good in-patient program for PTSD. If you can get him to a local vet center for evaluation, they can help him get into the best treatment program for him.

If I can help with any additional info, you can reply here. Good Luck,

Howard

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Last edited by moderator2; 09-13-2004 at 07:55 PM. Reason: please carefully review the posting rules - no emails

 
Old 09-23-2004, 03:17 PM   #4
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Re: Trying to Understand!!!!

What Howard said is correct..PTSD is a varied diagnosis, but combat related PTSD is a whole lot different. It's one of the few traumatic situations in which the sufferer is, in many ways, also the aggressor. Regular trauma rarely makes sense in our day to day minds, that's why it's traumatic. In combat, we're supposed to be warrioirs, and trauma takes a backseat. It cannot be ignored, and it penetrates deeper, more insiduously. Take your husband to a VA center. And keep yourself safe. You may be able to help save him, but you cannot do it on your own. He needs professional help.
Good luck.

 
Old 10-31-2004, 12:33 PM   #5
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Re: Trying to Understand!!!!

Cj,

My name is Chris.I also am a v-vet.
Ready?..Ok here goes! Your husband drinks BECAUSE HE IS AN ALCOHOLIC!!!
No other reason, end of story....Period!!!!!

I am also a RECOVERING alcoholic. I don't know much about PTSD, BUT i DO know IT HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH ALCOHOLISM. the ENTIRE key to getting that man well and restoring happiness and tranquility (and it can be done, believe me) are the 12 steps of alcoholics anonymous. He WILL NOT stop drinking until he hits a bottom,gets honest(cause he ain't now) and surrenders to the fact that he has a diseace that's out to kill him. And it will.
Every drunk in the world has 3 choices and only 3...locked up, sobered up, or covered up. the choice is his.

 
Old 11-15-2004, 09:53 AM   #6
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Marrisa HB User
Re: Trying to Understand!!!!

I just wanted to responed. My ex was diagnosed as PTSD after the Persian Gulf war. He went kind of crazy and wanted to kill me. He was the love of my life. Now, he seems better but we're divorced. I also was diagnosed with PTSD from childhood abuse and the time I had with my ex. It's funny though- I've never threatened anyone's life because of it.
Marissa

 
Old 11-19-2004, 06:10 AM   #7
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Marrisa HB User
Re: Trying to Understand!!!!

I know that many people with PTSD look for ways to hide from it and have what's called a dual diagnosis. Like, I have PTSD and used to be bulimic. My ex had PTSD from his the Persian Gulf War, but was also an alcoholic even before the incident. He needs help for both issues.

 
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