Oy, Tanki...I didn't read that last time you posted it...I may not have been on this board at the time.
Long time no see, dear. Sorry I've been away so long. I must say you've definitely struck a chord with the spider and the butterfly. It led me to another thought: while we were abused by "A", we were essentially like a caterpillar just before it becomes a butterfly; vulnerable to things within, but with a hard shell on the outside, so hard that we couldn't ask for help. Then, when we finally break free, and become butterflies, we take our proud new colours and taunt "A" again with the beauty he can never possess. Sometimes, however, his web has gotten bigger,and we get caught, like you said.
That analogy brings up a few memories. Something new to tell the therapist.
Hope you're well, and that goes for all here on the board. I was in hospital about a month ago. It just got to be too much. Someone at work set off multiple triggers, and I lost it. I'm now home from work on short term medical leave, and no one is urging me back soon. I've requested transfer to another department where I don't have as much contact with the outside as well as less contact with coworkers. I keep telling them: just put me in the basement with a desklamp and I'll do well! LOL
I've missed you all. I just didn't want to infect the board. I'm not sure how to explain that, because I don't mean exactly what it says...I just can't find the words to explain why I kept away as I sank lower and lower. I guess I just didn't want to discourage anyone from helping anyone else, and I was such a wreck, no help would help...if that makes any sense at all, then I must be getting better. If not, don't tell me. They say the crazy person is always the last to know they're crazy. I prefer ignorance in this matter!
I hope you are well, Tanki...and I hope to see more postings from you. Missed ya, luv!