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Old 11-18-2004, 04:24 PM   #1
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flashbacks

I was wondering if anyone could explain what their flashbacks are like. I'm curious if there are similarities between what others experience and what I experience.

 
Old 11-19-2004, 07:01 PM   #2
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Re: flashbacks

In the beginning, each day was one big flashback. The littlest things would trigger me. It was mostly violence on tv or talk about death. I'd usually get images/thoughts/sounds and occassionaly everything would play back in my head like a movie. I could see it happening all over again. When the flashbacks happen, I feel sick to my stomach, start crying uncontrollably and get a wave of intense anger. It usually subsides in an hour or two but it's an awful feeling that I dread. Now, after 7 months, I'm getting a little better except my depression is at an all time high. I can usually go about a week without any flashbacks. When I do get them, I can usually trace it back to some tiny trigger that caused the episode.

 
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Old 11-20-2004, 03:23 PM   #3
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Re: flashbacks

Wow. Thanks for telling me about your experience.
My therapist said that what I experience are flashbacks. At first I disagreed 'cause I thought they were not what a flashback was. But, now as I notice what happens to me, I know she's right. But I always thought flashbacks took one back to a place in their mind and they didn't know it was a flashback. Like, I always know the reality of what is going on. But my feelings are so intense that I cannot seem to win over them. It's absolutely awful and it's disheartening. And, it's not like I can go back and pinpoint one thing I go over in mind. It's a bunch of experiences that just come up again and again as awful feelings.
Marrisa

 
Old 12-02-2004, 12:34 PM   #4
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Smile Re: flashbacks

Kinda late but I thought I'd post. I get flashbacks, but more like what you *thought* flashbacks were, mostly. It starts off with something triggering, that makes me think of the trauma, it can be literally anything, something direct like someone with the same name as my abuser, or someone mentioning him, or it can be something very very subtle. The smell of mint does it for me every time, green ties, anything that seems unrelated but triggers a memory in my mind.

That brings a memory to mind, that I try to push away. Sometimes it works and I just carry on, but sometimes it doesn't and I can't get it off my mind, images start flashing in front of my eyes (almost literally) until it basically just becomes a movie with me in it. And I forget where I actually am and think I'm back there, because it seems so real.

That lasts a couple of minutes, sometimes up to 15, and then they fade again back to just memories and I come back to the present. But it leaves me shaken up for a good while, used to be for hours, but now I can carry on within about 15-30 mins and forget about it. Just gotten used to it!

Lori
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Old 12-03-2004, 05:30 AM   #5
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Re: flashbacks

Lori.... That is EXACTLY how mine are

 
Old 12-26-2004, 06:54 PM   #6
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Re: flashbacks

I get flash backs of my birth father sexually abusing me. I have all these images in my head that I just can't get out of my head. What triggers me is the thunderstorms on a hot summer night because he use to hold me and as he would hold me as a little girl he would rub himself against me. Then the sound of motorcycles would give me flashbacks because he use to try starting his motorcycle and then would get mad and put on some funky music which listen to some type of music gives me flash backs. This is how I deal with my flashbacks I usually regress to my child hood like I suck my thumb and I am only 31 going to be 32. It seems like the flash backs never go away even though I do go to counseling but the things that I have mentioned in here triggers my flash backs.

 
Old 02-15-2005, 03:06 PM   #7
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Re: flashbacks

mine are that way too.

 
Old 12-22-2006, 10:14 PM   #8
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Re: flashbacks

My flashback experiences vary, but the most intense ones are like this:

Even though I know I'm an adult sitting in a chair, I can't stop staring at the memory. I don't want to speak. I'm entranced by the realistic presentation my head is projecting. I not only see myself, but I feel like the four-year-old sitting in front of a group of boys, picking which one was going to take me into a shelter and rape me. I can remember the day, the temperature, the wind, the silky way the sand felt in my fists when I was lying on the ground.
I can't stop looking. I don't hallucinate, but the image is clear in my head. Though deeply disturbing, I want to stay in the moment, like I'm grabbing it and I don't want to let go. I feel during that time, as an adult, how wierd that picture is.

It happened once in therapy, and my therapist asked me what I saw. I didn't want to talk about it or describe it. Kind of like it was my personal movie and belonged only to me. I'm totally wierded out afterwards, like reality is so unsatisfying.

I hope this helps.

Best wishes,

Nikki

 
Old 12-22-2006, 11:28 PM   #9
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Re: flashbacks

I was involved in a motor vehicle accident 10/05 and sustained injuries. I had lumbar surgery and may need cervical (although I hope not).

The pain that I am going through is a constant reminder of the traumatic event, that has taken a toll on me both physically and mentally.

The frustration and anger that I feel are actually beyond description. It effects me when I am awake and in my dreams.

What you call flashbacks, I call "mental reocurrences of a traumatic event."

Take care
God Bless
FTM

Last edited by Phoenix; 12-23-2006 at 01:23 PM.

 
Old 12-23-2006, 03:45 AM   #10
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Re: flashbacks

good morning all---- mine are as if i have TV in the back of my mind and can watch this movie very clearly. I used to be able to turn it off but since i have started healing i can't and don't really want to since i know i have to remember. it happens at the oddest times.

FTM--- I feel that physical trauma is almost impossible to push away as your body hurts constantly. so it becomes a constant reminder. My heart is with you my friend.

ICC

 
Old 12-23-2006, 05:10 AM   #11
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Re: flashbacks

I can have a trigger and there are so many triggers. Then I go numb, completely brain dead, in a trance. I can never remember where my thoughts have taken me during the event, then I snap out of it. (It is only now, years and years later, that I can actually pinpoint what has triggered them. I never understood what was happening to me. (I hate that my brain does this to me).

 
Old 12-23-2006, 01:31 PM   #12
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Re: flashbacks

Quote:
Originally Posted by ICC

FTM--- I feel that physical trauma is almost impossible to push away as your body hurts constantly. so it becomes a constant reminder. My heart is with you my friend.

ICC
I thank you for reaffirming this point. I went to therapy but could not seem to get past the issue of chronic pain. My last therapist understood and left an open door for return. I pray that in time I will be able to do just that.

Take care
God Bless
FTM

 
Old 12-23-2006, 01:31 PM   #13
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Re: flashbacks

Quote:
Originally Posted by ICC

FTM--- I feel that physical trauma is almost impossible to push away as your body hurts constantly. so it becomes a constant reminder. My heart is with you my friend.

ICC
I thank you for reaffirming this point. I went to therapy but could not seem to get past the issue of chronic pain. My last therapist understood and left an open door for return. I pray that in time I will be able to do just that.

Take care
God Bless
FTM

 
Old 12-23-2006, 01:33 PM   #14
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Re: flashbacks

Quote:
Originally Posted by ICC

FTM--- I feel that physical trauma is almost impossible to push away as your body hurts constantly. so it becomes a constant reminder. My heart is with you my friend.

ICC
I thank you for reaffirming this point. I went to therapy but could not seem to get past the issue of chronic pain. My last therapist understood and left an open door for return. I pray that in time I will be able to do just that.

Take care
God Bless
FTM

 
Old 12-23-2006, 01:33 PM   #15
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Re: flashbacks

Quote:
Originally Posted by ICC

FTM--- I feel that physical trauma is almost impossible to push away as your body hurts constantly. so it becomes a constant reminder. My heart is with you my friend.

ICC
I thank you for reaffirming this point. I went to therapy but could not seem to get past the issue of chronic pain. My last therapist understood and left an open door for return. I pray that in time I will be able to do just that.

Take care
God Bless
FTM

 
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