| I have been feeling terrible lately.
I wonder if anyone else ever feels this way. I guess the thing is that after having been raped, the few people who I have been able to tell have not cared at all. Of course that hurts a lot, but I don't really know how to deal with it properly. I guess I have sort of suppressed it. Anyway, lately I have been panicking a lot. In fact, over the past week I have had terrible problems with my computer after renewing a subscription to an anti virus program. Anyhow, my computer would not do anything properly and even after restoring the entire system, it is still messed up. I had to call for customer service. I spoke to at least 14 people trying to get the problem fixed. They all either pointed the finger at other software manufacturers, ran me through the same drill that the previous ten techs had me execute or were just incredibly nasty. After spending about 16 or more hours trying to fix my brand new computer, I have just flipped out. I am exhausted but I can't sleep, I ache all over, and I cannot at all shake this feeling that no matter what I do, how I ask or who I ask for help for ANYTHING I am NEVER going to get it. I really don't want to believe that, but I am beginning to think that I am a fool for ever trying to be optimistic about stuff like this. Am I nuts?
| 
