I've never been diagnosed with PTSD but I'm pretty sure its something I"m suffering from. And I was just wondering what the kind of treatment is..? I guess I should sorta tell you my story first right?
At the moment I"m 17 years old, when I was 14 I was raped by a young man several years older than me. For over 6 months he physically and sexually abused me. I became pregnant and about 10 weeks into my pregnancy I lost the baby. I haven't seen the guy much since this but I'm terrified. I have nightmares all night. I hardly ever sleep, I am terrified to be anywhere near a man or have any physical contact with them. I mourn the lost of my child and I know its strange but as much as I hated that man I love that child and I long to hold her and love her.
I have also been sexually and phsyically abused by my father since my youngest years and had an experience as well with a police officer when I was 10.
I feel terrible because of all this, I feel worthless, I have no self-confidence or self-esteem. I have regular panic attacks and nighmares and I'm suffering from anorexia...
Anyways, I guess I sorta got off topic a bit... I'm on anti-depressants for depresson, the ED and my panic attacks... is that pretty much what would be done for PTSD as well? or is there more I could be doing to help heal from all this?
Thank you and sorry for wasting your time
your not wasting anyones time. i have had severe ptsd for 3 years now but for very different reasons. but ptsd by any other name is still ptsd. its horrible that you have had to endure those things. it really taints your view on humanity... or make it appear clearer-i havent figured that one out. anyway. there is no cure for ptsd so they just put you on different medications and combination of meds until you get the most benefit. it dosnt mean everything is great again. they just try to knock down the symptoms as much as possible. it is no easy road though,by any stretch of the imagination. i have been on a device called "alpha stim". it has helped me a great deal. good luck. theres no level ground where we are at.
No one should have not endure what you did. I hope at this point you are in a safe
situation if not, call the crisis line listed in the blue pages of your phone book. I
also encourage you to talk with your school counselor. You dont have to give
names, just the basic info so they can guide you in the right direction for help.
I know how it feels to have the very people we thought were trustworthy turn out to be the biggest offenders.
You are important, worthy and deserved to be Loved. Not only are you are a Survivor, but you have a strong spirit, you can beat this!!! Look at what you endured and you still held onto Love, kindness and compassion, which was evident when you felt Love for a child created thru rape.
I also was abuse as a child, then drugged and gang raped when I was 15 yr old. That was 33 yrs ago and Ive never understood why things like that happen. I can tell you this, for years I thought it was my fault, now I know it wasnt, I didnt deserve to be treated like that anymore then you did. Im a survivor because they may have hurt me but they didnt destroy my Spirit of Love, kindness, compassion, caring and forgiveness (that one took me a long..... time). Quite often offenders were once victims themselves, I've often wondered if they just werent strong enough to survive and lost their spirit of Love etc...
Im sure you've heard the saying "time heals all wounds" I read a new version that taught me a new meaning of forgiveness. "It is not time that heals all wounds but LOVE" Love yourself and show them they did not defeat you, but that You Are A Survivor!!!!
Thanks for being brave enough to post your story, again it shows your strength. When I replied to you it helped me to learned something new about myself. ((((Hugs)))))
Thank you so much for your words of encouragement. I really needed them. I am not in danger of that first guy. There was another incident with a student last year in my school. But I never see him and I have a couple teachers keeping an eye on me. And a guidance counsellor who knows and who I can run to if I need to.
I know I've survived. I can't believe it. Cause I feel as if I haven't... but I guess.. yeah... I feel terrible.
Anything seems to send me into a panic attack lately, and I can hardly leave my house. I'm terrified of the dark. I turn every light in the house on. I refuse to go outside at night unless I have someone holding my hand. And my brother has become very abusive so I'm terified of him now.
I'm really quiet a mess. I hardly sleep cause I just have nightmares all night... *sigh*...
Anyways, Thanks for listening.
Mel, I am very sorry for what you have had to and still have to endure. Along with medication are you in any type of counseling? If not, it may help to have someone to be able to confide in. I just wish i could give you a big hug and to just keep you safe!