PTSD and Child Abuse
Hey I notice alot of the threads here talk about PTSD and how they were abused as children. Well I come from the same background. I was physically and mentally abused all through out my child and teenage years. My step dad use to beat me and my brother and sister, as well as my mother right in front of me. And my mom was (and I think still may be) an alcoholic/drug user and she used to take everything out on me and my sister and hit us and say very horrible things to us. I went through alot living with her. After my younger sister moved out to live with her father and it was just me and my mom it got worse. I was 15/16 years old at the time and I found out so many horrible things. She was sleeping with guys as young as 17 and everyone at school knew about it. I found out she did cocaine. Oh it was a nightmare. I finally moved in with my older brother when I was 16 years old because I couldn't take her beating me and yelling at me everyday when she was drunk.
Well because of all this I have PTSD. I have nightmares sometimes of my mother hitting me or my sister. Or sometimes it goes back to when we lived with my step dad and him hitting my mom and us. I wake up feeling like I'm there again. Its not that bad anymore, I guess thats due to the meds. I take klonopin and remeron before I go to bed, I also have panic disorder, general anxiety disorder, and major depression.
Sometimes people tell me just to forget the past but its hard. I'm almost 21 now. My mom and I have a better relationship, I forgave her and I love her dearly, but I will never forget but I do try and put some of these bad memories away. Though sometimes they just pop up in my dreams.
I just want to let everyone out there who was abused as a child that you are not alone. Just be strong and counseling really helps, especially group counseling. I felt much better after sharing these things at group couseling.
Good luck to everyone out there and if you would like please share your stories. I am always willing to give any advise I can or read what other people have been through, just because it makes us all realize we are not alone with this disease.
Thanks for taking time out to read my post and a little bit about my past and how it has effected me and why I have PTSD.
God bless you all,