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Desprate For Help Please Read

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Old 02-26-2005, 07:13 PM   #1
Junior Member
Join Date: Jan 2005
Posts: 26
agk1999 HB User
Desprate For Help Please Read

I Had Posted A Week Ago On Here And Did Recieve 2 Responces And Was Happy To Get Them But I Really Need Some More Input On My Problem. I Feel Here On This Board You People Would Understand And Know What I Feel Inside. I Will Make This As Short As Possible And Just Give The Facts. I Know Many Of Us Had Very Tough Childhoods. I Was Not Phycialy Abused But I Was Mentally I Witness Things No Child Should Have. And Had To Learn To Fend For My Self At A Young Age. My Parents We Swingers I Witness My Mother In Sex Acts That Disturbed Me More So In My Adult Yrs. My Father Was Abusive Towards Her Drugs Were Involved.

It Seemed To Have Affected Me More In My Adulthood, I Have A Loving Wife And Beautiful Children That I Love So Much. I Love My Wife And Know She Would Never Cheat Or Leave Me I Truly Know That But Than I Get Those Thoughts And I Start Question My Wife.

It Is Interfering With My Marrage And I Want To Be Able To Put These Thoughts Behind Me. I Know I Cant Change The [past And I Have Confronted My Parents About This And They Said They Were Sorry And I Do Believe They Are But It Still To Was Not Enough And The Thoughts Are Overpowering Me. Any Ideas On Any Other Ways To Deal With This.

Thanks For Reading

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Old 02-28-2005, 08:18 PM   #2
Bob A
Join Date: Sep 2003
Location: Pennsylvania
Posts: 121
Bob A HB User
Re: Desprate For Help Please Read

Everybody experiences worries and doubts during their life and many of us have superstitions and funny little habits. But for some people … maybe even for you or a loved one… these feelings can become so strong that they literally take over your life. It happens to me and I have a hard time dealing with it.
Sufferers can become trapped in a pattern of repetitive thoughts and behaviors that are senseless and distressing but extremely difficult to overcome. I have serious problems from a prior marriage.
I have the same disturbing thoughts, ideas, or impulses over and over again. These are called obsessions. To relieve the anxiety and worry that result from the obsessions, I will do certain things over and over again. These are called compulsions. It is extremely hard to realize that what I think and what is actually happening are two different things. My best suggestion is to hold on to reality and disregard fantacy. It isn't easy. But you must.

Old 03-07-2005, 01:58 PM   #3
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zimnah HB User
Re: Desprate For Help Please Read

I know how you feel. I know my husband loves me, and me alone. But sometimes, in a weak moment, the worst thoughts come into my mind, and I cannot control the impulse that he's with someone else.
I've talked to him about it, and we've worked together with a therapist to find ways of keeping me reassured. I have to admit, it's incredibly selfish on my part, and equally generous on his part that he's willing to let me know where he is, what he's doing, etc whenever I ask. I do my best not to ask, and can sometimes go for quite a while. The fact that he was willing to be open about the people he deals with helped me to be reassured.
I cannot stress enough here how lucky I am to have a partner who understands my fears and is willing to deal with them in a way that gives me, when you think about it, a lot of control over his life. My part is accepting what he says and not flying into a fit about it. It's a delicate dance, but it has worked for about 11 years. I hope this helps.

Last edited by zimnah; 03-07-2005 at 01:59 PM.

Old 03-07-2005, 03:29 PM   #4
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Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: Central Coast, Ca.
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Porcelain_doll HB User
Re: Desprate For Help Please Read

Hi agk, I say: if you think it's a problem, then it is. If your memories are clouding your judgement in your marriage, maybe you should get some professional advice. I commend you for identifying this issue. This is something that your wife should know about, but she alone can't help you get past it. It's not her problem to fix. Don't put that on her. I thought I could fix my ex, but I ended up with more trouble than I could handle. Give her your best, and YOU take care of the rest!


Old 03-11-2005, 05:50 PM   #5
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Join Date: Jan 2005
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agk1999 HB User
Re: Desprate For Help Please Read

I Just Wanted To Thank You So Much For Your Input On This Matter I Am Trying My Best To Get Through This, I Hope I Can Thanks Again

Old 03-12-2005, 01:31 PM   #6
Bob A
Join Date: Sep 2003
Location: Pennsylvania
Posts: 121
Bob A HB User
Re: Desprate For Help Please Read

You will get through this. You will get through this. You will get through this. You must get through this. Keep reminding yourself that you will and must get through this. Your future is just around the corner. Be there and be ready.

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