I can see where all of you are coming from. The thing is, if we dont reconcile the things in our past that make us who we are, then how do we know these things aren't going to sneak up on us at some point and bite us in the butt. (So to speak)
I mean, I don't know if any of you guys are parents, but I sometimes find myself yelling at my kids, (like I used to get yelled at) and I don't even realize I'm doing it right away, its just kind of something inside me from my childhood. How do I fix it if I ignore it? Does that make sense?
I have a mood disorder also, so that may have factors, but I think as far as parenting skills, we should deal with our 'stuff', sort it out, so that we can move on with our lives without all the baggage. This has been what I have read and been told by many, many therapists over the years, and it makes sense to me. But I wil be darned if I can actually make myself do it.
Not trying to start a major controversy here, just a friendly conversation about it. In my case, my traumas were mostly due to domestic violence stuff, I saw terrible, abusive things happen to others in my family. But never was beaten myself. I can imagine that is in a whole different category of trauma.
Best wishes to all of you,