Could this be PTSD?
In December of 03' my grandmother who was 83 passed away while living with me and my family. She had moved in with us due to complications from emphazema and other breathing problems. She was on oxygen 24 hours a day and would lose her breath just simply walking around in her bedroom. Because of her breathing difficulties you could stand at the door to her bedroom and see her whole body move while breathing. Every morning I would wake up for work peek in her room and watch to see if she was breathing. It was my biggest fear to see her still. I found her one morning lying on the floor next to her bed, she had apparently got up to take a breathing treatment, not breathing. I couldn't look for long and hollered for my dad to check on her. I can still see her on the floor, I can hear my dad trying to wake her, and I can see the room down to the color(lighting) in the room that morning. During the next few months, I would not let myself think about that morning, I was also planning my wedding which kept my mind off of it. To this day I cannot allow myself to think about it for very long because I get so upset. After the wedding I began to have these feelings that I can't breathe. I am worried about everyone breathing. I wake up in the middle of the night to see if my husband is breathing. He was out of town last week and I stayed at my parents and I got up at night to see if my dad was breathing and to check on my 9 year old brother. I have a fear that everyone close to me and myself will stop breathing. When I go to sleep at night I feel heaviness on my chest and often jump up to gasp for air. However I am breathing fine. Can anyone help me to understand what is going on. My family knows that I am having these problems but I have a hard time telling them I think it is related to grandma. We were all very close to her and I feel like it would upset everyone.