Hi all! Sorry to but in..I was dx w/PTSD 2yrs ago
after a suicide attempt. I was hospitalized for a week and that's when they diagnosed me w/PTSD. My "uncle" raped me when I was 10 and I believe it stopped at 16. No one knows except my husband, best friend, and my GYN. I lived 30 yrs and I was "fine". I got married started a family and I was a very strong person. My parents are alcoholics and addicts and the rest of my family have mental health issues they are just not diagnosed. I was supposed to be the "normal" one, and I was for years but 2 yrs ago I just "snapped". I want that sense of normalcy to come back but I am now far from it. I've been on numerous meds and nothing has worked. I had been seeing a therapist on a weekly basis but that wasn't helping. All the breathing, relaxation, and coping techniques just didn't work for me. She never once asked or dealt with the feelings I was having. I thought that my suicidality was gone but it's not. I can't tell anyone because I don't want to dissapoint anyone or seem weak. But since last week when I saw my GYN he brought up alot of feelings I was having and it was just "too" much at once and I've broken down since then. I have my moments when I can't stop crying and then I feel like I'm always on edge and very irratable. He (my GYN) said that I have "chronic" ptsd and printed out some info on it. I told him that I didn't want to read it but he gave it to me anyways, well I left it in the bathroom at his office. That stuff is just a trigger for me and doesn't help just makes me feel more pathetic. I just don't know what to do and was looking for some input because I think my proper diagnosis should be "psychotic: with no hope for recovery".
Thanks for "listening" , B