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Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) Message Board


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Old 06-21-2005, 10:42 PM   #1
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melinche05 HB User
Help me plz

Ok here's what happened. During spring break i was at a *****'s house. I had know this guy for about 5 years and he was like a brother to me. Well ***** and i were sittin down on his sofa in his basment just goofin around liek we lways do watchin a movie and pretendin to fight. Suddenly ***** grabbed both of my wrists and pinned my arms be hind my back and laid on top of me. ***** is not a small guy he's around 200 lbs. and i'm under 125 lbs, so major difference. Well *****then took one of his hands and unbuttoned and unzipped my panst then he put his hand up my shirt and started to fondle me. I started to freak out and i tried to squirm away, but it didn't work. As soon as i had figured out want he was tryin to do i startedpleading"***** stop, ***** stop." I finally started to cry histerically and ***** let me up. He had been my best friend for 5 yrs, he knew i was a virgin and that i was in a relationship, but he had tried to rape me. He called me later and was "like u were askin for it the whole time. It's not my fault." I started crying all over again. I told my mom, and i told my boyfriend. Both of them have been very supportive. But now it's really weird, like when people grab me by the wrists i freak out and start struggling, for the whole month after it i was almost always crying b/c i couldn't stop thinking about it, i still get flashbacks and at night i have nightmares that he doesn't stop and he actually rapes me. It has subsided alil bit but other than the crying i still freak out. I can't even say *****'s name with out choking. do i hav ptsd? and if i ddo can someone help me get over it? I'm going to college in the fall and i would love to be able to cope with this before then. please help.

 
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Old 06-22-2005, 07:33 AM   #2
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Join Date: Mar 2004
Location: Chicago, Illinois
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ainfante HB Userainfante HB Userainfante HB User
Re: Help me plz

Quote:
Originally Posted by melinche05
Ok here's what happened. During spring break i was at a *****'s house. I had know this guy for about 5 years and he was like a brother to me. Well ***** and i were sittin down on his sofa in his basment just goofin around liek we lways do watchin a movie and pretendin to fight. Suddenly ***** grabbed both of my wrists and pinned my arms be hind my back and laid on top of me. ***** is not a small guy he's around 200 lbs. and i'm under 125 lbs, so major difference. Well *****then took one of his hands and unbuttoned and unzipped my panst then he put his hand up my shirt and started to fondle me. I started to freak out and i tried to squirm away, but it didn't work. As soon as i had figured out want he was tryin to do i startedpleading"***** stop, ***** stop." I finally started to cry histerically and ***** let me up. He had been my best friend for 5 yrs, he knew i was a virgin and that i was in a relationship, but he had tried to rape me. He called me later and was "like u were askin for it the whole time. It's not my fault." I started crying all over again. I told my mom, and i told my boyfriend. Both of them have been very supportive. But now it's really weird, like when people grab me by the wrists i freak out and start struggling, for the whole month after it i was almost always crying b/c i couldn't stop thinking about it, i still get flashbacks and at night i have nightmares that he doesn't stop and he actually rapes me. It has subsided alil bit but other than the crying i still freak out. I can't even say *****'s name with out choking. do i hav ptsd? and if i ddo can someone help me get over it? I'm going to college in the fall and i would love to be able to cope with this before then. please help.

sweetie, you are experiencing Post traumatic stress. You experienced trauma coz you didnt' expect what he was going to do to you after 5 years and the flashbacks are normal, you are tryign to work it out consciously. Listen, understand that you have experienced trauma, go talk to someone other than your friends/parents. It's better to nip it now than later. It's also normal for you to cringe or get frightened when someone reaches to grab you, you were traumatized by your friends actions upon u. It's almost as if you were rapted but not raped, understand? Also, your brain reacted as if you were completely forced upon by a stranger, not a friend at the time. Whatever you do, don't panic, if you have panic attacks, etc. just see them through, they won't hurt you, your body is just reacting to your thoughts. Better to start writing some of this down, just let your mind go and write, write, write. If you find youself answering youself in the writing, great
you can destroy it or keep it afterwards, this helps relieve some anxiety that is building up strongly due to your trauma. Hope this helps, but please go and talk to someone professional about it, who knows, you may have linked this episode that may have been a similar episode in the past or another trauma that you are not consciously remembering. God Bless

 
Old 06-23-2005, 08:05 PM   #3
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melinche05 HB User
Re: Help me plz

my next question is should i forgive him? my mom wants me to act like it never happened.... but i can't. If ***** had gone to the same school as me i think i would have transferred. But he's going to college now so i won't see him

 
Old 06-24-2005, 09:03 AM   #4
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Join Date: Mar 2004
Location: Chicago, Illinois
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ainfante HB Userainfante HB Userainfante HB User
Re: Help me plz

Quote:
Originally Posted by melinche05
my next question is should i forgive him? my mom wants me to act like it never happened.... but i can't. If ***** had gone to the same school as me i think i would have transferred. But he's going to college now so i won't see him

forgiving is always the best thing to do. It took me years and years to do that. You really can't forgive until u work the issue within you. Then you will be able to forgive. Of course, you will never forget but you will be able to move on and put it behind you. As far as your mother goes, easier said than done. Obviously, this has effected you greatly, so I don't see how it will be possible for you to act as if it never happened. And that's the denial mode. Not healthy. Accept that it happened, work out the positive and negatives to what you learned and didn't learn from it and then forgive and move on. I still say a bit of chatting with a counselor would do good.

Take care,

Andrea

 
Old 07-02-2005, 05:52 PM   #5
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Pandakaity5 HB User
Re: Help me plz

Forgiving is one of the hardest things you can do. I was in 5th grade, got physically and mentally attacked numerous times by a fellow fifth grader. By the time 6th grade came along, he was still getting away with everything. I eventually got PTSD..and it was terrible. I was flipping out all the time, I would have a panic attack if I read his name in a book! Finally, my mental health counselor told me to forgive, he was young and not as mature. It took me a long time, but after almost a year I did it, and now I can walk by him without panicking too bad. So it takes a lot of time and faith in yourself to do. Just believe that you can do it. It takes a lot of tries, but someday you get there, and it is the greatest feeling there is.

Your friend,
Kaity

 
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