does this sound like PTS and how can I help - Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) Message Board

cas526 · 07-27-2005, 09:05 PM

My son married a girl from South America. She presents very well. After a few months of marriage, they begin to have many, many problems. Partly culture,But I believe the majority of the problems are related to PTS, but she refuses to think so and blames every one else for the problems. This young lady was kidnapped for a period of 3 months in her home country. She also has had several friends murdered before marrying my son and moving to the states.
She is very insecure. During a visit with them she chosed not to go out to dinner with her husband, before going to work, but rather stayed and watched a TV show. 2 hours later when she went to work, my son and I went out to eat. SHe called and blew up over the fact we were eating with out her. During there 2 years of marriage there seems to be major issues around July and the hoildays. Last July she accused my son of molesting her young daughter. He was removed from the home until it came back unprovenand unfounded. Over the holidays there were issues and he came home for Christmas by himself. Now this July major issues again. He told her that he wanted a divorce. She started screaming and yelling . This caused her young daughter to start crying. He went over to pick the child up. SHe ran to a neighbors and called the cops and accused him of beating her and holding a gun to her head. Needless to say he spent 24 hours in jail. There were no marks on her. Its her word against his. He was charged with a misdameaner for commuicating threats. A few days later she dropped charges. They are currently separated.
There are times when things are fine...He knows when a major issue is coming. SHe stops cleaning, she doesn't get dress, and doesn't leave the house.
Does this sound like PTS? ALthough they are separated, he would like to stay with her if she gets some help. I think to my self ..get the heck out while you still can.

8alteredegos · 07-30-2005, 07:32 AM

From what you described it does sound like she has PTSD.My heart goes out to you,your son and grandaughter. I have PTSD and I put my ex-husband, our children and extended families through hell before I got the right help. My ex-husband couldn't handle watching the woman he loved and married losing her mind more and more as each day passed. My father and step-mom gave him a lot of emotional support, letting him know they are there for him regardless of whether he wanted a separation,divorce from me or even hang onto the marriage.They took the kid's on weekends and longer when school was out. Eventually,he moved into his parents house. His mother wasn't as supportive. All she kept telling him was to divorce me, get legal custody of the children(then they were 7 and 8)and leave me in the mental hospital and let the government take care of me. He hung in as long as he could. With the help and support of my parents he made sure I got the right help. It is not an easy situation for anyone and one must do what they must to stay sane themself. It's harder when children are involved. I knew I wasn't capable of caring for our children and would never put them through the torment of a custody battle. I have a chronic medical illness beside mental illness so they would have spent more time with him anyway with me in more than out of the hospital. I am one of the miracle patients that the staff,doctor's,nurse's and therapist's talk about from the several psychiatric and medical hospitals I was in during that time in my life. I hope your son's wife will see that she needs help before anymore pain and suffering are added to the people surrounding her. Sometimes a person needs someone else to start the process of getting them help because they are too sick to seek it out themself. Some are in denial and many don't think they have a problem until they do something so destructive/self-destructive that they are taken to the hospital against their will. I hope it doesn't have to go that far for her. I would say good luck, but it doesn't take luck-it takes action to make things better. I will say a prayer for all of you.