Odd.. - Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) Message Board

Pandakaity5 · 09-13-2005, 07:33 PM

Well, I am over the biggest hardships of my PTSD, but now there is something else wrong. I am not sure what, but about a week ago I all of a sudden felt really sad and worthless. I started to have random panic attacks, that had nothing to do with the situation that caused my PTSD. I have also been very emotional/sensitive lately, and I am starting to get those old feelings back. I don't know what to do anymore. Could this somehow be twisted with PTSD? I noticed that sometimes, if I think about the situation too much..it makes me sad. The assaulter and I used to be friends, before he came after me. I know there is a lot there between me and him, and I know that I might feel better if I could just talk to him, the truth is, I may get suspended if I do so. I don't know what to do! Do you think this has anything to do with my PTSD?
Thank you for reading this!
Kaity

dwallech · 09-13-2005, 08:22 PM

Hi,
I feel PTSD is something that doesn't go away, but sometimes comes to the surface and other times it lays low. I find that even 9/11 and hurricane Katrina make me feel sad and it seems to start the flow of my PTSD all over again. I go through periods of highs and lows with this, even though the event happened more than 20 years ago. Even when I confronted the perpetrator, who obviously and blatantly denied anything, it didn't really help as it just made me feel more violated. It was my exhusband who held guns to my head and to my children's heads. I really feel the perpetrator sometimes is myself trying to run from feelings I don't understand. I have been away from the situation for a very long time, but when stress occurs, I go back to having low self esteem and uncomfortable thoughts and feelings. I sought counseling and was relieved when they had a name for what I was experiencing, but it didn't take away all the feelings of being violated. I think perhaps it is something we deal with off and on for long periods of time and hope it gets better with time, but don't feel it ever completely goes away. Just know that a lot of people understand if they have it, and are here to help support you during your difficult times

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smc612 · 09-14-2005, 03:56 AM

hi everyone---i have PTSD for a different reason than you. mine is due to my daughter's unexpected tragic death when she was 21. i have been in therapy which is a great help for the past 6 months after 8 years of not knowing what was going on or where i was. BUT i agree that just when you think you have it licked something triggers the same response. it doesn't go away you just need tools to keep it under wraps as much as possible. any kind of extreme stress and sometimes just little things will through you right back into the feelings PTSD bring on. be good to yourself and if you feel it would help to talk to the person who abused you and can't, maybe write a letter over and over until you have all of your feelings out. never show the person but it does help to sit sometimes and relive the fears. it's hard but it does help. my therapist told me to always keep myself safe. physically,mentally and emotionally. that has been my biggest help. God be good to you all!

angel

hgray37 · 09-17-2005, 04:33 AM

Hi Panda.......I too have PTSD and like both dwallech and angel, I agree it never really goes away. I was a Recon Marine and did two tours in Vietnam in 1965 and 1966. That's 40 years ago when I first walked into hell.........but even now there are times it flares it's ugly head up and I begin to feel a lot of all the old feelings of depression, anxiety, anger and fear. And just like you, something can happen that to me, has absolutely no connection with what the initial cause of my PTSD was. Yet there are other things that happen ("triggers") that you might think would cause it to flair up, for me things like 9/11, Desert Storm and now Iraq, that didn't cause it to flair up. It's a strange illness to say the least. I thank God that I have an excellent thearpist that understands PTSD and she has helped me keep it under control but unfortunately..........no I don't think you are actually ever what you might call cured. I think the thing that helped me the most was the "homework" she gave me to do. That was to read as much as I could about PTSD and learn as much about it as possible. To understand my "triggers" and how to deal with them or avoid the ones I can. The analogy she used, and that was because of being in a war situation, was that PTSD was my enemy and what is the best way to fight that enemy........to learn as much about that enemy as you possiby can to better prepare yourself to battle it. So that's exactly what I did........I read every article, searched the internet and printed tons of information and studied every piece of information I could get my hands on so I was better prepared to "fight" this enemy that had decided to take up residence within me. I must also add that these boards have been a tremendous help as well. I couldn't have said it any better than dwallech....... "Just know that a lot of people understand if they have it, and are here to help support you during your difficult times".....how very, very true!! For me........it works, but I know I'm not "cured". But at least now, and as Angel made reference to, I have the tools to better fight this horrible enemy. Good luck and I hope and pray you feel better and you too can aquire the tools you need to battle this thing.