I am relatively new here also, I post on the MS board and found this one and realized that maybe I can offer advice because I am a PTSD survivor.
What happened to you was not your fault, and yes it is still with you. You need to find a qualified PTSD therapist to help you figure everything out.
It is so amazing what life is like without all the anxiety, and worry, and fear,
not to cry all the time and not know why, not to be able to explain how your feel because right now you don't really feel, and that is was a therapist will do for you. There were things that my therapist would say to me and instead of just understanding when I didn't [something that I had done my whole life] I would tell her I don't understand, and she would explain and help me to understand.
So how do you find one, well do a google search using your state or city and state and PTSD therapist, or ask your DR. or look in the phone book, and make calls and question these providers, how long have they been a therapist, will they accept your insurance, do they treat PTSD problems. If you starta treatment and the provider is saying you have to do this, or your should be doing this, I don't think that is the best provider for you, so don't be afraid to change therapists. It is your life and $ . I suggest a female therapist, I think that they have more compassion, but that is your decision.
I realized after my diagnose of MS that I was depressed and that I was depressed my whole life and never even knew it, because I was hiding a secret or yep, everthing is wonderful. It is easy to say that, but it is a word, and that is all, because everything wasn't wonderful.
I encourage you to seek help, because it has made me a totally different person. It was the best thing that I ever did for ME!!