A week from today my two youngest children were involved in a very bad car accident. Ages 16 and 13. Thank the Lord they are both alive. Their injuries are serious but they are recovering now at home. I feel like I've been very strong throughout this whole ordeal until now. Now that I know they are going to be okay I think I"m the one about to have a nervous breakdown.
I tried to go back to work yesterday but was unable to concentrate and everytime I saw a uniformed deputy who are in my place of work daily I completely lost it and started crying so bad I had to come home. I guess this is because a deputy is the one who notified me of the accident. I have to drive past the wreck scene twice a day going to and from work and I can see car parts lying everywhere and a sheet that was left on the scene by the ambulance that carried my children to the hospital. I tried to quit my job yesterday but my boss said she feels i'm doing this on emotions and to think about it first. I don't want to leave my children until they are better. I want to be with children all the time. Is this normal following a trauma involving your children? Will it go away or should I seek counseling? My sister said I may be suffering from post traumatic stress and after reading online about it I do have signs of this. Any advice is appreciated.
Hi Havaheart. Yes I would say you are having Post traumatic stress. I do not know if it's the disorder itself or just the symptoms of the stress. I was involved in a head on collision. It was terrible. I also heard knews about my brothers death from an ER nurse out of town on the phone and I have to tell you, it just flipped me out. So I know about driving by the scene, seeing the deputy, etc. What I would do is talk to your doctor about these symptoms or see a Psychiatrist, and believe me, Psychiatrists are not just for the mentally ill. He might decide to put you into counseling which would be good, coz then u can talk it out and they will help you find ways to learn how to untraumatize yourself. Trauma is a horrible thing to go through. I know this first hand. I've had many. Please do this, for this is the only way to really heal. I'm glad your children are ok, God be with them and your family. You might want to take some time off your job, like an emergency leave of absence. I wouldn't quit yet, get your benefits. Also, it's normal now for you to fear of losing your children after this serious incident.
Sorry your children wad involved in a car accident. Be thankful that they survived, God was watching over them. Do not allow the site be one of a tragic reminder to you, b/c it could have been worst. So every time you see it thank God for your children, that it will strengthen your family. You will get stronger and closer through all of this. You have to understand if they did not die in that accident then they are not going to die. They need you to be strong, and not worry. The worst is over with and you got through it. They are being taken care of and they will heal. You need to stay healthy, stay focused on life. Enjoy your children everyday and thank God for his protection over them.
Gosh was a horrible thing to happen to your family, and yes, you want to be with your children right now any mother would want that, so instead of quitting your job, why not take Family Medical Leave [FMLA] ? Your reason sounds like a good enough reason, and this is why the Gov't gave us FMLA
You get 12 weeks [not paid of course ] of leave, you could use the time to take care of your kids, and get some counseling, and try to get back to where you all were prior to the accident. What I know about PTSD and I know alot is you have to deal with it and so do your kids, you just can't handle something like this on your own, you need a professional to help you .
As for holding up OK and the falling apart I think we are programed that way. I don't know if it could be classified as post traumatic stress as I believe that happens later.
When my son was 4 he had an accident. It was a very difficult route to the hospital that took about an hour. I carried him into the ER. He had bled a lot so he was bloody just about all over. To that point I was OK. As I walked through the door before I could talk half a dozen steps medical personnel was there and took him from my arms. As soon as I turned him over to the doctor I suddenly almost collapsed. I think that is a normal reaction. As long as the crisis is there we keep holding on, and when it has passed all catches up with you.
Finding someone to talk to could be helpful. Has making your post here and getting some replies made you feel better? Even that cold be helpful. Just hang in there and things will get better.
Thank god your kids are going to be ok!! As a parent, even a small graze on our kids can upset us! Firstly, this only happened one week ago, your emotions are all over the place, I would personally say you are suffering from delayed shock!!
Can you not take some compassionate time off of work, to give yourself some time to recover from this awful shock!
I think work is not a place you should even be thinking about being at now!
If you can take some time off work, don't drive past the scene, untill all the debris is removed.