Hello,
I do know exactly what you are going through. I will you the best of luck and you have my sympathy. I was emotionally and physically abused most of my life and 3 years ago sexually abused. This person is still free and still around. I don't know your home situation and I know it is unfare that you are still being punished daily (especially in your mind). You are probably reliving the incident daily in you head. Unfortunately, you will always remember every detail of this, but I do promise you that you can go on. First make a stand and take a self-defense class. Then seek some help with this issue. You can speak to someone but make sure you are ready because if you are not then you will not keep the commitment. Also, carry pepper spray on you (depending upon your state laws). If you have friends/family, tell them what happen but do not expect them to believe you (this way if they don't then you won't go through more pain). Lock your doors (put a chair under the handle at night), lock your windows (put a stick to keep it closed), and if able get a dog (have it trained) this way it will give you security and friendship. If you are uncomfortable, get some hidden cameras in your place and point one toward your window to catch him on it. If you have any good footage, make sure you make a copy for yourself and the police. Try to keep pushing them for more info. I wish I could be there for you and help you through this. I know what your thinking/feeling, but remember to take one day at a time. I currently take 50mg zoloft and it helps me greatly with no side effects. look into possibly moving out of state if able. or moving in with family/friends to help. Get one of those devices "i've fallen and can't get up", it is a necklace you wear in your place and if you push the button it automatically sends a signal to the police. Possibly get a security system. I know all this sounds like more torture to you, but unfortunately you must be safe first and foremost. Good Luck and keep us intouch.
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