I am a PTSD survivor, before I was treated for PTSD I always felt detached, like I didn't understand things, I was unable to connect, I felt in my own little world, I mean I got up and went to work every day, I did what I thought normal people did, but I had a difficult time understanding feelings, it was like PTSD made me immune from tragedy, tragic movies, accidents, tragic deaths, it was just like nothing to me, I couldn't connect
So, I used drugs, drank, lived with total abandon because I did not understand the consequences.
I could take care of me, after all I had been doing it just about my whole life, and it had been working this long, so why change
I freaking had TONS of anxiety and I never knew what it was, I thought I was just worried all the time, I had a huge knot in my gut, that was where my feelings were. I was like this for about 30 years then I got treatment from a PTSD Provider and she changed my life or she gave me back the life I had been living but not feeling. I had been to a therapist and he told me what I needed to change to feel better, yeah that didn't work
I needed a therapist to explain to my why I was like I was, and that I could change, and my PTSD therapist was able to do all of that. Once I was ready to get desensitized against the sexual abuse that I experienced as a child, it freed me.
It took over 10 years off and on, I would get to a comfortable place and stop therapy, then in Dec 2004, I was diagnosed with MS, and everything changed and I knew that I needed to go back for therapy and at those last visits, I realized that I had been depressed my whole life and didn't even know it.
Then after dealing with MS, and the final hurdle for me was FOOD!! It was always the one thing that I had complete control over and, I started having weird dreams about being lost and just strange dreams. I went for therapy ine morning and I just feeling sick to my stomach and I didn't know why, so I said to her, "I just don't feel good" , I felt like I was gonna puke, and she says "OK lets see what is going on" and it was time for me to lose the control over food, and I CRIED LIKE A BABY I couldn't even believe it, so a few more visits and I was able to get thru it, and start eating to live [corny huh] not living to eat. Then I knew that I had finally gotten my life back. It was the hardest thing that I ever did, but it was the most rewarding thing I ever did.
I am happy, comfortable, I cannot believe how I was living, this new life is so much easier.
Find your self a PTSD therapist, they will be able to assist diagnose if you are a PTSD victim, I will support you any way that I can ok
Hope this helps