I went through a very traumatic event when I was 15 and have suffered badly from depersonalisation and depression (I currently have psychotic depression and depersonalisation disorder) ever since. I've used drink and drugs heavily in the past to try to numb the pain and find some relief (I guess I was self-medicating). Now I suspect that I may have undiagnosed PTSD, and wanted to ask the following: Is it common for people with PTSD to abuse street drugs and drink in order to try to find some relief?
PTSD effected me so that I did activities that made me happy, and drugs and drinking made me happy, made me forget, made me maybe be a little more outgoing because who cares, everyone else is drinking too so this is fun. Then the next day you are back to your old problems and you get up and face the day being miserable, until after work, when you start all over again well that's how my life was.
It was fun while it lasted, then I found my future husband, stopped drinking but kept smoking pot, so I was just numb, and after a few years of that, I just got sick and tired of everything, and out came my trauma and I started therapy, quit pot cold turkey my therapist was amazed, but because of that addiction, I realized that I have an addictive personality, which brngs up another whole mess of issues.
Maybe that is what is happening to you dave, maybe you are sick and tired of all the crap and ready to face your issues There is something to be said about the person who can face their demons, you have taken the 1st step, acknowledgement
ps dave, be nice to dave I never understood what that ment, do you know what that means?
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StephanieAnne
Last edited by StephanieAnne; 05-10-2006 at 07:32 PM.
PTSD effected me so that I did activities that made me happy, and drugs and drinking made me happy, made me forget, made me maybe be a little more outgoing because who cares, everyone else is drinking too so this is fun. Then the next day you are back to your old problems and you get up and face the day being miserable, until after work, when you start all over again well that's how my life was.
It was fun while it lasted, then I found my future husband, stopped drinking but kept smoking pot, so I was just numb, and after a few years of that, I just got sick and tired of everything, and out came my trauma and I started therapy, quit pot cold turkey my therapist was amazed, but because of that addiction, I realized that I have an addictive personality, which brngs up another whole mess of issues.
Maybe that is what is happening to you dave, maybe you are sick and tired of all the crap and ready to face your issues There is something to be said about the person who can face their demons, you have taken the 1st step, acknowledgement
ps dave, be nice to dave I never understood what that ment, do you know what that means?
Thanks for the reply, StephanieAnn.
I recognised a lot of myself in what you wrote. I have been doing drugs and drinking heavily for years, in an attempt to befogg my mind and escape from my problems. But they are always there the morning after, usually worse than before -- so one has to drink even more the next time, etc, etc... You're dead right about one thing, Stephanie: I am feed up with all the crap and am ready squarely to face my issues. The problem is, I don't know if I've been given the correct diagnosis. As I've said before, I officially have psychotic depression and depresonalisation; but both of these things stem from a couple of traumatic events that happened to me when I was 15 -- which makes me suspect that I really have PTSD -- have had it for ther past 10 years or so. (I'm 24 now.) I'm gonna mention the possibility of PTSD to my psychiatrist next time I see him.
Again, thanks for the kind reply. Hope you're doing okay
my therapist would say to me, be nice to Stephanie, and I would reply, I am she does what ever she wants, how much more nicer can I be then after more therapy, I was able to understand what she meant, I was being nice to Stephanie in a destrutive way, I would put myself down, settle for less, feel sorry for me. I needed to be nice to Stephanie in a positive way, ways that would expand me, not hedge me in, like being the martyr all the time, that was not necessary, but with PTSD you don't know how to feel so all you know is negative, thru therapy you start to realize positiveness,
gosh is that a word?
Mention it to your Psych that maybe you should go to a PTSD provider, they are trained in techniques to help you get thru and past all of the crap you are fed up with
Thanks for the reply, Scott. I'm sorry to hear about the terrible things you saw in Bosnia (I read you other posts); it must have been awful... I know that drink and drugs are not the answer; that one should seek professional help, etc. I no longer do any hard drugs and have cut down on my drinking, as I find that it makes my depression worse in the long run (when I'm blind drunk I feel okay ). I am currently receiving professional help -- for psychotic depression and depersonalisation. I'm gonna mention PTSD next time I see my shrink.
well that's how my life was. 
my therapist was amazed, but because of that addiction, I realized that I have an addictive personality, which brngs up another whole mess of issues. 
There is something to be said about the person who can face their demons, you have taken the 1st step, acknowledgement 
then after more therapy, I was able to understand what she meant, I was being nice to Stephanie in a destrutive way, I would put myself down, settle for less, feel sorry for me. I needed to be nice to Stephanie in a positive way, ways that would expand me, not hedge me in, like being the martyr all the time, that was not necessary, but with PTSD you don't know how to feel so all you know is negative, thru therapy you start to realize positiveness, 
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