| I have PTSD
Hi everyone! Well, I guess I should say that I have been suffering from PTSD and Major Depression for over 8 years, when I was 4 years old. I grew up with an abusive, alchoholic father who abused my mother in front of me, and then abused me for 3 years. He has said he was sorry, and I forgave him, but he continued, and I can't stand to be lied to anymore. I can't forgive him anymore, and I'm deathly scared of him. Now when someone talks to me or something, I jump, startled. I get startled very easily. I get flashbacks of what he did to me and at night, I have nightmares of it. No one seems to understand. I don't think about it or anything and it pops up. I cry alot, and am depressed all the time. I never smile anymore. If I do, it's a fake smile. Sometimes, I feel like I can't go on, but I'm doing my best to cope with this. Thanks, guys.
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I went to a PTSD therapist and she helped me make sense of all the crap that happened, she helped me put it all away so it's not living with me every day. She helped me be a normal adult, without fears, without shame, and I can smile now because I want to.
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