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Old 12-03-2006, 06:06 PM   #1
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Question ptsd because of emotional abuse?

I am wondering if any of you have ptsd as a result of prolonged emotional abuse, rather than an accident. from what I've read here up to now, (and I've not read too much, I've ashamed to say), but I don't feel like I belong here. Having said that I don't know 'where' I belong. So many emotions, no physical injury. This may seem odd to many, but if I put my son aside, I am 100% happy with everything in my life. Prior to the recent anxiety, I was beginning to feel it was time to have my anti-depressant meds. reduced. And then........you know the rest. Can anyone relate?

 
Old 12-04-2006, 03:50 AM   #2
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Re: ptsd because of emotional abuse?

Dear isitme,

Many will have physical injuries but I can relate to you on the psychological level. My PTSD began to manifest itself when my brother passed away in 1990. I do not have a degree in psychology but will say that there must have been other stressors involved in a persons' life before the "traumatic" event brought the onset of PTSD symptoms.

I was doing pretty well for some time .................and then the MVA; which brought the intensity of symptoms back....times ten.

Take care and God Bless. Love and Peace. For the masses only.

 
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Old 12-04-2006, 05:52 AM   #3
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Re: ptsd because of emotional abuse?

isitme----my PTSD began from emotional negligence as a child from my mother. then an abusive (occassional physical but mainly emotional) first husband for 25 years. 9 years ago my middle daughter passed away at 21 in a car accident. that was my first disassociation. i can still see myself on the other side of the room watching myself on the phone. since then i have been in a terrrible state of mind. not constant but frequestly, then my best friend of 26 years passed very quickly from a blood clot, 6 months later my only sister commited suicide. 2 years later after being the caretaker for both of my husbands parents they passed away a week apart. so as you can see mY PTSD started from emotional abuse and then traumas added to it. this last flare up was brought on by physical injuries. It is the nature of the disorder that once you have it, at least at this point in my life, any physical, mental or emotional injuries will prompt a flare up. will i make it? absolutely!!! but the only way is with the help of all of you, my family and my wonderful counselor.

always wishing you the best,

ICC

 
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Old 12-04-2006, 09:01 AM   #4
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Re: ptsd because of emotional abuse?

ICC - You certainly have endured alot of grief throughout your life. I admire your courage and determination. Could I ask when you were diagnosed with ptsd? I am still rather confused with that. Is there a specific incidence which helps to give a diagnosis? You speak of disassociation. I had an incident where I visualized myself slashing my wrists, within hours of telling my son he could move in with us. It scared me to death at the time, but I haven't revisited that moment very often. I like your wording - 'a flare up'. That is a good way to see it. A problem, just like one can have a reoccurance of migraine. It is a confort to me, to know that the flare up does pass with time, sometimes just not as quickly as I would like. Thanks for sharing.

Wishing everyone the best.

 
Old 12-04-2006, 11:49 AM   #5
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Re: ptsd because of emotional abuse?

Isitme, from my understanding of it, PTSD it is the stress that you feel after a trauma(s). Basically, the person has much difficulty in functioning because of the trauma. Childhood/adult abuse (emotional/sexual/physical), wars, disasters, accidents, assaults, any trauma that you could think of and even if it was something that was only traumatic to the person suffering. I also think that the functioning of the person before the trauma has something to do with it (please respond if you disagree anyone). If the person came from a dysfunctional family and, therefore, had a less than "perfect" development emotionally and mentally, then they won't have the tools and reserve to process the trauma as easily (As if trauma is easy for anyone to process!).

ICC, you describe your upbringing as negligent. From reading what you have wrote I might describe it as emotionally abusive. Neglect is an act of omission (the parent failed to do something that would have been beneficial). Abuse is an act of commission (the parent ACTED in a way that caused harm).

Last edited by Sannah; 12-04-2006 at 11:51 AM.

 
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Old 12-04-2006, 12:20 PM   #6
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Re: ptsd because of emotional abuse?

Sannah

I think that your description of PTSD is quite accurate. I agree even with the functioning of the person before the trauma. If the family is dysfunctional, thus the person has less than perfect development emotionally and mentally. Most dysfunctional family's are NOT healthy, nurturing, guiding, teaching households, therefore we are not taught coping skills. Very good description. You have much to offer.

Thanks,

Sid

 
Old 12-04-2006, 12:47 PM   #7
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Re: ptsd because of emotional abuse?

isitme---i was dx about 5 years ago. while in counseling my counselor noticed a combination of things that led him to believe it could be PTSD and did some testing and here I am. he was a PTSD counselor for years at one of the large VA hospitals so knew what he was looking at.

sannah-----I have to agree with stick. good explanation. I don't know about all with PTSD but I grew up in a dysfunctional family and agree with stick about developmental problems. thank you. you are right . my mother was emotionally abusive. most of the time she let me know that my sister was most special and i was much less important. there was alot of jealousy on her part in that my Dad held me under his wing. what did she expect when he saw the way she treated me. believe me i would be much worse off if not for my Dad.

ICC

 
Old 12-04-2006, 12:56 PM   #8
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Re: ptsd because of emotional abuse?

ICC,

If it wasn't for my grand fathers love and protection... I too would not have survived the night my mother tried to kill me. So you were lucky to have your dad. I understand what you went through.

Sid

 
Old 12-05-2006, 01:43 AM   #9
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Lightbulb Re: ptsd because of emotional abuse?

I think I 'get it' now. Please tell me if I've still got it wrong!

I have ptsd, I believe I had the symptoms in the 80's, but said nothing about it, to anyone. I continued to function, without meds. til 90's. I then had a major breakdown. I've been recovering ever since, with my mood fluctuating at the drop of a hat, from 100% happy to 100% miserable. Only now do I see the triggers, (sister, son, daughter, others). Recognizing the triggers and reacting differently to them will put me in an emotionally better place, hence the need for it to come from within. *I* need to change me. I was stuck on 'the specific incident/the trauma that 'caused' ptsd. I couldn't find one with me. Now I see it that I have ptsd, and because I have ptsd, although I can feel great for a period of time, AT ANY TIME something will be said/done, and my REACTION to peoples words/action caused ALL the symptoms of ptsd to bubble up to the surface. (worthlessness, guilt, low mood etc). So it is irrelevent that I have been years out from the abusive relationship with the x and although I have recovered/healed from him, (and my son with his choice for his way of life) now I have to find coping stratergies for ME to deal with MY ptsd symptoms. Now I wonder, as my son lived through the same as me, could he too have ptsd, aswell as psychopathic tendancies? Mmmm

 
Old 12-05-2006, 02:31 AM   #10
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Re: ptsd because of emotional abuse?

HI isitme,

Yes, you very well could have PTSD, but it would be better if you were properly DX'ed by either a shrink, or PTSD therapist. Just putting labels on isn't a good thing. If I have seemed harsh in any of my post, I apologize. It's sometimes difficult in the written word to get emotions though.

Dealing with PTSD is sometimes challenging to say the least, and without coping skills we just develop whatever mechanism we can to get through. It usually works for a time, but then things start falling apart. Things don't work any more, and the more we try and make it work, the worse it gets. Panic sets in, we struggle more, anger because we can't fix it, frustration, because we can't convince others of our motives, things start to spiral out of control and we feel like the world is against us, paranoia to depression is with us daily.

The one thing we haven't tried is fixing us.... The way we handle things, the way we react to situations. Agreeing to disagree and not holding judgment against the other for their belief, or way of doing things. Understanding that everyone is an individual with their own life, and they have to live it as they see fit. Not focusing on everyone else, but looking within to see us.

Your son may indeed have PTSD, but he needs to come to terms with own illness or emotional upheaval on his own. It's not for you to fix it. If he comes to you for help, then be there, but until then there is nothing that you can do. If he was living in your home, and under age it would be your job, to provide him with ever tool available to help him, but as an adult he is on his own.

I hope that you can come to terms with what you are dealing with. I know first hand how hard family's can be, and how hard letting go is.

Hugs,

Sid

 
Old 12-05-2006, 03:00 AM   #11
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Re: ptsd because of emotional abuse?

sid and isitme--- i have nothing else to add to this since i feel sid has done a great job. sometimes it's just a word that's used for the lightbulb to light up. today reading "paranoia" made me realize something else about myself. that is what i have been for years. always thought with all the heartache people were out to get me. maybe they were but i allowed it. having accepted what i have been through and no longer caring who/what brought this disorder on i know it is me that has to change and pull myself up by the bootstraps on the abuse will continue.

God bless,
ICC

 
Old 12-05-2006, 04:01 AM   #12
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Re: ptsd because of emotional abuse?

stick -
Dealing with PTSD is sometimes challenging to say the least, and without coping skills we just develop whatever mechanism we can to get through. It usually works for a time, but then things start falling apart. Things don't work any more, and the more we try and make it work, the worse it gets. Panic sets in, we struggle more, anger because we can't fix it, frustration, because we can't convince others of our motives, things start to spiral out of control and we feel like the world is against us, paranoia to depression is with us daily.

That was why I posted the paranioa thread. Both are with me daily.You haven't upset me in any way. I hope I haven't offended anyone. I've come so far, without being diagnosed all those years ago and yes, I've done 'whatever it took' basically to get through it. The doctor has said I could have ptsd as it is hard to seperate from the anxiety state I presented him with. Over the years I have done what came to me instictively as a coping mechanism to 'not be hurt' eg letting go. I know I'm rattling on, but I feel I've learnt so much lately. the jigsaw of 'me' feels almost complete and pieces have been missing for so long have been found. I can empathize with all you've said.

The one thing we haven't tried is fixing us.... The way we handle things, the way we react to situations. Agreeing to disagree and not holding judgment against the other for their belief, or way of doing things. Understanding that everyone is an individual with their own life, and they have to live it as they see fit. Not focusing on everyone else, but looking within to see us.

I am determined to 'FIX ME'. Basically, I began to lose myself at the age of 18 and have remained lost til a year or two back. I then noticed *I* was actually still there. As though I had supressed the real me, for fear of being rejected or having my ideas rejected. I have chosen to be the one not to make a fuss over the years. Accept whatever. Now I'm choosing to be the one who will be heard because I am very important to me. as all you are too.

 
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Old 12-05-2006, 04:48 AM   #13
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Re: ptsd because of emotional abuse?

isitme,

May I suggest that you find a really good therapist with whom you feel comfortable with, and one who is knowledgeable in PTSD. It's important on this journey of recovery that you have qualified people guiding you along the way. Ultimately you will make your own decisions, but with the help of a good therapist the decision will be with full knowledge, and an understanding of the ramifications of making the wrong decision. It's not an easy journey. It's actually one of the hardest things that you will ever take on. Change is NOT easy. It can be done, but it's a full time job in itself. Take baby steps, work with someone that can guide you, and make small changes when and where you can. It's very easy to fall back into old ways, and this is where strength of mind is needed.

Hang in there, be tough when you need to, forgive yourself when you fall, and pick yourself back up and get going again.

Hugs,

Sid

 
Old 12-06-2006, 03:56 AM   #14
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Re: ptsd because of emotional abuse?

sid you are so right. i had a really bad day yesterday. everything that could go wrong went wrong. in certain situations i found myself telling myself to leave,get out, get away and I did with no uncertainty. in others i took the bull by the horns and dealt with what i had to. was a day filled with panic and anxiety but i got through it. the tears were just ready to come out as i had had enough whe i saw my husband pulling in to pick mme up. vented on him for a little and was fine. didn't carry on for hours like i usually would have. vented and went on. feel much stronger this morning and slept 10 hours last night which is so much better that the 4 i ususally get.

ICC

 
Old 12-06-2006, 12:18 PM   #15
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Re: ptsd because of emotional abuse?

ICC,

That a girl!!!!! When you let go of things, and stop venting for hours and hours, your mind has a chance to calm down and be peaceful. It's tough to do all the time, and I still find myself doing it too at times. When I realize that I am doing it, I force myself to think of other things.

So glad that you got some sleep. Wondering if the Trazodone is finally kicking in? I was on it for about 12 yrs, just weaned myself off in April. It really helps with sleep issues. I came off of it, because I had gained about 40lbs in the last 10 yrs. (lost 20 so far) Going thru menopause too so between the two.....One of them had to go. Menopause wouldn't G**D***leave, so I got off the trazodone. LOL!!!!!!

Talk to you soon,

Hugs,

Sid

 
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