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Old 01-01-2007, 10:09 AM   #1
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Question what is the most important thing each of you needs help with

I will start. maybe if we each let the others know what the biggest issue is we want/need help with it will get us started on our healing journey in the new year.

ICC-----abandonment

 
Old 01-01-2007, 10:26 AM   #2
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Re: what is the most important thing each of you needs help with

icc,
i dont have many words of advise for abandoment, but my biggest issue is self-injury, and letting go of the past

Last edited by innocense019; 01-01-2007 at 10:28 AM.

 
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Old 01-01-2007, 10:44 AM   #3
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Re: what is the most important thing each of you needs help with

Dear ICC,

I need to get past the issue of pain, which is inhibiting me from venturing further psychologically.

Since this is an issue of a physical nature, I would say psychologically that "acceptance" is my nemesis; how do I accept the pain, which is chronic
and get past it so that I can heal mentally on every level possible.

I have had a past history of drug abuse and the meds that I am taking are controlled substances or substances that have been known to bring about the onset of addiction.

How do I "accept" this , for it goes way beyond mind over matter.

When I am a single parent who is "Putting on the Mask of Normalcy" for my daughter, family members and whomever else I may come across?

Yes my friend, it has to be ACCEPTANCE (and frustrational anger).

Take care
God Bless
FTM

Last edited by Phoenix; 01-01-2007 at 11:20 AM.

 
Old 01-01-2007, 10:59 AM   #4
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Re: what is the most important thing each of you needs help with

anne---I have no words of wisdom for you other than i believe when you can let go of the past you will also let go of the self-injury. I have known and loved many who were self-destructive and though I have never been physically harmful to myself I have been extrememly emotionally harmful. we'll talk somemore.

FTM----you are in a really tough situation as I don't have to tell you. I also live with chronic pain but I don't believe as severe as yours. Acceptance. But how do you accept this when life has slapped you another blow that is hindering you from healing mentally? I know there are therapist who deal only with chronic pain. Maybe we should start with the meds you need that you don't want to risk taking. Let me think a little. I have been through this with my husband after his back surgery. I won't forget you. let me get my head on it.

ICC

 
Old 01-01-2007, 11:15 AM   #5
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Re: what is the most important thing each of you needs help with

trust and fear of rejection are my main downfalls, I have only one person in the whole world whom i trust 100% and that is one of my sisters. My main downfall though is i tend to push people away in fear of getting hurt and rejected agian, so i do unintentionally make people around me lifes terrible.
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Old 01-01-2007, 02:22 PM   #6
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Re: what is the most important thing each of you needs help with

tel----i think you need nurturing. thanks for responding. i thought it would be a good idea since we all have so many posts going for all of us to try to focus on one thing at a time. we'll all work together on each others issues.

have a good night,
ICC

Last edited by ICC; 01-02-2007 at 04:05 AM.

 
Old 01-01-2007, 07:03 PM   #7
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Re: what is the most important thing each of you needs help with

Hi all--I think the point that I have come to is as many of you said letting go of the horrors of the past and my recent ghost of Christmas present that reignited those horrors and has caused a family member to shun me. I also have never forgiven myself for the disease of alcoholism and drug abuse that came about when I tried to kill those demons(but 22 years sober now). I am currently in mourning because of this recent loss, but with a lot of online help on the board and my good therapist and psychiatrist I will hopefully not have to deal with another Xmas like this last one. My prayers go to all of you as well. Thanks!

 
Old 01-01-2007, 10:46 PM   #8
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Re: what is the most important thing each of you needs help with

Quote:
Originally Posted by ICC
tel----i think you need nurturing. thanks for esponding. i thought it would be a good idea since we all have so many posts going for all of us to try to focus on one thing at a time. we'll all work together on each others issues.

have a good night,
ICC
ICC you are a wonderful compassionate person, you are an absolute angel! You are always there to offer help and advise to others when you are going through hell yourself. Although i am and will always be eternally grateful for all the help and advise you have given me so far, I will be fine though, Im happy to try and offer support, advise, and help if possible to anyone willing to listen, at least that way i feel like im good for something, if that makes sense. thankyou so very very much xxxx
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Old 01-02-2007, 04:08 AM   #9
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Re: what is the most important thing each of you needs help with

hope---1st i must say congratulations on 22 years of sobriety. being shunned by family members is second nature to me as my own mother has shunned me most of my life. we'll work on what you need together.

Tel----sometimes it is comforting and healing to help others though you are in need. that's what makes our family so incredibily helpful. we all have something to offer whether in need or able to offer. you never know what one might post that makes a lightbulb go off in you that you didn't even think pertained to you. keep it coming.

ICC

 
Old 01-02-2007, 04:44 AM   #10
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Re: what is the most important thing each of you needs help with

thank you again ICC.
I do tend to bottle things up in real life,so im not a burden on anyone,I hate people pitying me or trying to help me in real life too. Same on here, im just happy to try help people,i hate to think of people suffering or hurt with no one to turn to.
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Old 01-02-2007, 04:56 AM   #11
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Re: what is the most important thing each of you needs help with

Morning all,


HHHHHHHHMMMMMMMMMMMM I would guess that my biggest problem would be .......Being called a liar. Yup that's the one, the biggest one. I will own anything that I have done, and take responsibility for all that I have done also. But when called a liar. I freak, I get depressed, I lash out, I become enraged, I cry, I go into sever depression, and my only way out it to try suicide. This is the one area in my life that I CAN'T seem to overcome....... Everything else seems like it was a piece of cake compared to this one.......

So if anyone can offer suggestions, I am ready willing and able to accept them.......

Love,


Sid

 
Old 01-02-2007, 05:09 AM   #12
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Re: what is the most important thing each of you needs help with

Quote:
Originally Posted by telmadee
I will be fine though, Im happy to try and offer support, advise, and help if possible to anyone willing to listen
Now, now, now telmadee, have you ever considered that you won't allow yourself to meet your own needs and that maybe this is causing you a lot of your problems?

ICC, this is a wonderful post! I am going to summarize here so that I can put all of this neatly in my mind.

ICC - abandonment
FTM - pain management/acceptance/frustration/anger
innocense - self injury/letting go of the past
Sid - being called a liar
hope - self forgiveness/mourning a loss
telmadee - trust/fear of rejection

If I have left anyone out or I misquoted anyone let me know.

Last edited by Sannah; 01-02-2007 at 05:09 AM.

 
Old 01-02-2007, 05:45 AM   #13
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Re: what is the most important thing each of you needs help with

thanks sannah---i know i needed things a little clearer in my mind. having so many issues i decided to take one at a time and thought it might help others to do the same. it is overwelming at times and I didn't want to get lost or lose anyone else.

Tel----though you may not want pity or to burden anyone you need to beleive in your heart that you are doing neither here. Let your guard down even if it's only here. Maybe then you can carry some of it into your life off the boards in time.

ICC

 
Old 01-02-2007, 07:39 AM   #14
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Re: what is the most important thing each of you needs help with

ICC, what does that make you feel when you are abandoned?

 
Old 01-02-2007, 07:42 AM   #15
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Re: what is the most important thing each of you needs help with

FTM, I don't know anything about chronic pain and I can't say that I understand yours. Do you think that massage would help? On the famous 1 to 10 scale where is yours on most days? Is it a dull constant pain and where is it?

 
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