Dear PTSD - Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) Message Board

Phoenix · 01-25-2007, 12:38 AM

PTSD,

I was skeptical, whether or not I should confront you but since you entered my life, you have been an annoyance:

You made it possible for my therapists to locate that DSM-IV and label me.

You invaded my life without permission,taking measurements whilst I lay asleep, attempting to fit me like a glove.

You took the opportunity to "latch on" like a leech that needs blood for sustenance..................

Take a look at that PTSD:

I give you power to thrive; for without me, there can be no you........

but I've got some news for you: I'm onto you; actually all of us are and if you think the presence of you is going to get or keep us down, you've got another thing coming.

Yes, we were vulnerable when you entered our lives but the secret is out:

You can be controlled

Oh, did I expose you; make you feel uncomfortable? Well good!...........

Now you know how we have been feeling.

You really think that I am going to buy into the thought that you will be a part of my life, for the rest of it? HA!

If I believe that then I also believe that the Easter Bunny arrives on Christmas and Santa Claus wears green,carries around shamrocks and his famous saying is "top o' the morning to you, me laddies."

Nope, I won't believe it.

If man and woman kind alike could search for a cures to untreatable diseases, then I will search for a cure for this disorder.

Whether I do or not, only time will tell but if I do not make the effort then I am truthfully defeated.

So PTSD, be on the lookout. There may come the day that I put on a pair of "Dorothy's magical shoes", click my heals and say "there's no place for PTSD" and I will be rid of you.

What's the matter, you look upset.

I'll make a deal with you; once you are here you respect me and I will do the same.

If you leave peacefully one day, while I am sleeping, I will understand; not that I am placing ideas into your head of a "psychological nature."

I hear they are forming both a civil and criminal court made especially for disorders.

Maybe it will be as simple as evicting you, since you are definitely an unwanted tenant that gained occupancy under false pretenses.

You heard everything I said; well scratch that; your bags are packed at the door.

See, I can play psychological games also.

Don't bother to go back into the room; it's locked; deadbolt and all;psychological Fort Knox.

I know that you're stubborn but I'm patient and I have you exactly where I want you; I'm in control now.

Just let me know when you are ready to leave.

Take care
God Bless

FTM

isitme · 01-25-2007, 07:53 AM

whoohoo. Fantastic post FTM. Sound like you're on the winning side of this 'nuisance' disorder. I too am trying to beat the 'nuisance disorder' out of me.

The disorder starts and ends with us. Only 'us' can beat it - by changing how we think, act, behave and react.

galinaqt · 01-25-2007, 11:00 AM

I personnaly blame people who were the cause of me having these disease not disease on its own. It doesn't come out of nowhere.
Oddly enough I thought that if I talk to people who came from the same country about my problems it will make me felt better unfortinately quite opposite.
I just don't think human being can be compassionate unless he has exactly same problem.
I was telling about supervisor giving me wrong information in order to make serious of scandals - first time when she changed info, second 'cause I couldn't redo quick enough and third 'cause no way it can be as perfect on paper as first time and it lasted for years. Response was - "Exactly same thing was happened to me. Once my free vacation abroad was given to somebody else".
Remind me ICC's coworker comparison of her son got to prison with ICC's daughter's death.

I would really like people to answer even if I don't make much sense it is important to me.

Phoenix · 01-25-2007, 05:07 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by isitme

whoohoo. Fantastic post FTM. Sound like you're on the winning side of this 'nuisance' disorder. I too am trying to beat the 'nuisance disorder' out of me.

The disorder starts and ends with us. Only 'us' can beat it - by changing how we think, act, behave and react.

Dear isitme and galinaqt,

The truth of the matter is that I am so tired of it all.

You see, I have spent way too much time as a "hermit."

I stayed by myself and have gotten in touch with myself, on a "psychologically emotional" level.

My brother passed in 1990 and I developed PTSD. This is not to say that I didn't have other disorders, such as episodes of both anorexia and bulemia.

I am so "friggin" tired of blaming myself and I am so tired of using others in my life as the focal point of my disorders.

Whether or not I forgive those who hurt me is not my issue; if they hurt me( and they know who they are) I say it is better for me to let other forces take care of them for in the long run I will be the winner.

I am a winner; actually we all are; we are survivors!

Just because I wrote that reflective piece by no means is an indicator that I have things fully under control. This is just step one and I have just begun.

If I am going to get anywhere in life, at this point in my life, I have to keep striving. If I go in with a "defeatist" attitude, I have already given up on myself.

I looked at myself in the mirror and saw a person worth saving, battered and bruised and in need of much healing.

Do I have all the answers; no but I am going to be relentless with grabbing onto any and every bit of information that I can, for dear life.

As my head hurts and my body has trouble catching up with my mind, I say to all : We have to believe in ourselves.........

If not us then who; if not now, then when?

Take care
God Bless

FTM

missbluesky · 01-25-2007, 08:38 PM

Amen, FTM, What a great read!!!

You tell 'em, isitme!

I have gone through the hermit process, as well...partly out of fear of being too sensitive...too "different" and partly needing time with my higher power, time to research and not be overly distracted from my own healing process.
The other part was recognizing I wasn't always attracting/soliciting the best infulences in my life from other mortals.

galinaqt, that would hurt So-o-o much!

What are you gonna do with that negative feeling? Ouch, I hope you don't just stew in it til your goose is cooked!!! I was just wondering how you will handle that injustice? I have learned it is very important for me to do something with my bad feelings.